With Snow Comes Insanity
by lilagyptian
Summary: The Yu-gi-oh characters have been snowed into Kaiba's house. How long will they last?
1. It Begins

Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to Yu-gi-oh  
  
This story is basically as any Yu-gi-oh characters I could think of, being put under intense amounts of mental stress. They're trapped, with the people they love, and the people they hate. he he he. Similar situation to 'Lord of the Flies' if you've ever read that book.  
  
With the Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter One  
  
Unbelievable! Seto thought.  
  
Of all the rotten luck. Joey thought.  
  
Why me? Tristan wondered.  
  
This can't be good. Tea thought.  
  
These four along with the rest of the people standing there all stared at the snow that had built up so high that is had blocked any way out. The storm had really hit hard. They had all been working on a huge group project at Seto's and when it had been time to leave.They couldn't. They'd been snowed in. All of them including, Yami, Yugi, Bakura, Mai, Duke Devlin, Yami Bakura, Malik and Yami Malik.  
  
"What are we supposed to do now?" Mai whined. "I have a hair appointment at five!"  
  
"Looks like you'll have to miss it." Joey said.  
  
"What! No! I can't miss it. I just can't! It's highlights!" She demanded.  
  
Joey moaned. Why did she have to be stuck in here too. I was bad enough he had to put up with Kaiba calling him a dog all the time.  
  
"Dog." Seto said. "Call your parents. The rest of you too. Tell them you're okay and that." Seto hated what he was about to say. "That you have to stay here till the storm clears."  
  
There was talking between groups of people. They guessed it wasn't so bad. They at least had a nice place to stay.  
  
Yugi pushed to door shut again and leaned up against it.  
  
Seto sighed. This was going to be a long night.  
  
He didn't want to be pestered by all of them. "You are free to go where ever you wish. I will have maids prepares rooms for all of you. You can use the TV, the stereo, feel free." Seto began to walk off. This didn't sound like Seto at all. He suddenly stopped and turned on his heel. "Oh, by the way. None of you go into the east wing of the house. It's private. It's rigged with cameras so you will be caught if you try to get in. Also, if you break something, you will be billed." Seto turned back and headed down the hall to where most of the maids would stay. That sounded more like Kaiba.  
  
Everyone began to split up all over the house. Malik wandered in to the living room and saw the extremely large TV. His eyes grew large as he stared at it. Yami Malik walked in behind him and saw the TV. The two then glanced at each other then back to the TV. They both dove for the remote control.  
  
"It's mine." Yami Malik hissed.  
  
"I was here first!" Malik shouted.  
  
The two rolled back and forth on the floor like two little children. They continued to fight and didn't even notice that Yami Bakura and Yami had walked into the room. Yami Bakura stared at the two fighting on the floor. Yami walked over to the top of the TV and grabbed another remote. He sat down on the couch and pressed the on button. The TV quickly lit up.  
  
The two boys on the floor froze and stared up at the TV. They then turned to Yami, both were very confused.  
  
"That's not the right remote. That remote turns on the lava lamp" Yami said.  
  
Both the boys climbed up off the floor and moved over to a pair of recliners. Every so often they'd turn and glare at each other.  
  
Malik was still holding the remote in his hand and he flicked it on and off. The lava lamp light brightened and darkened with every click. "Hmmm, Well what do you know."  
  
Yami intently watched the MAD TV show that was on. He laughed at all the jokes. Yami Bakura didn't understand them and was getting irritated.  
  
"Change the channel." Yami Bakura commanded.  
  
"No." Yami said.  
  
"This is stupid." Yami Bakura told him.  
  
"No it's not."  
  
"I agree with Yami Bakura." Yami Malik said. "This show makes no sense. Let's watch Jerry Springer!"  
  
"Ya!" Yami Bakura cheered. "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"  
  
"No! I hate Jerry Springer!" said Malik.  
  
"I decide what channel we watch. I have the remote." Yami said.  
  
"Oh! The king of games thinks he's so special." Yami Bakura mocked Yami. "Oh look! I'm Yami, I can win at stupid card games and I have funny hair so people will pay attention to me because, I'm a big loser."  
  
"Shut up!" Yami said. He adjusted his hair. "At least my hair doesn't make me look like a girl." He snapped.  
  
"Hey!" Bakura yelled from the other end of the room.  
  
"Sorry Bakura." Yami yelled back.  
  
"The girls at school said they liked my hair." Bakura muttered.  
  
"Common Thief!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Has been!" Yami Bakura yelled back.  
  
"Never was!" Yami shouted even louder.  
  
"Guys. Guys! Chill out. I'm sure we can come to an agreement." Malik said.  
  
"Right." They both said.  
  
"Good. Now were can do this democratically. I saw we." Malik wasn't even noticed.  
  
"Rock, paper scissors?" Yami asked.  
  
Yami Bakura nodded.  
  
"1,2,3, rock!" They both yelled.  
  
"1,2,3, rock" They both yelled again.  
  
"1,2,3,rock!" They really weren't getting anywhere.  
  
Yami Malik sighed and made a move for the remote. Yami turned and glared at him. "Touch it and I send you to the shadow realm!"  
  
Yami Malik's eyes got big and he backed away slowly.  
  
Meanwhile in the kitchen.  
  
"I'm telling you guys I got an A in cooking class." Joey said as he went through the fridge.  
  
"I don't know Joey, I mean, I've seen you eat paste before. Maybe we should just make pizza." Tea said.  
  
Joey turned to her. "Do not insult the great chef!" He told her. He began chopping up some vegetables. "I'll make my specialty. 'Pizza stuffed Chicken!'"  
  
"Can't we just make the pizza?" Tea begged.  
  
"Now where's the fun in that?" Joey asked.  
  
"It's edible." Tristan added.  
  
Joey turned to Tristan and shook his fist. "Watch it pal or I'll stuff you full of pizza."  
  
"Sounds better than the chicken." Tristan snapped back.  
  
"I'll stuff you like the chicken!" Joey yelled at him.  
  
"I'm gonna go lay down now." Tea said and backed away.  
  
Bakura was busying himself with the CD player. Yugi sat at a computer and was on the Internet.  
  
"Hey Yugi? Who are the Cherry Poppin' Daddies?" Bakura asked as he stared at the CD case.  
  
Yugi turned and looked at him. "I don't know. Why don't you put it in and see."  
  
Bakura popped in the CD and hit play.  
  
The CD player began to sing: [Zoot suit riot! Throw back a bottle of beer. ] [Zoot suit riot! Throw a comb through your cold black hair!]  
  
"Hey this is kinda catchy." Bakura said and snapped his fingers along to the rhythm.  
  
Duke Devlin came around the corner with a coat rack he used as a microphone and sang along to the song.  
  
"Hats and chains and swinging hands. Who's your daddy, yes I am." Duke sang.  
  
Bakura held out his hand to Mai sitting on the floor and she hopped up. The two started dancing to the music. Joey walked in around the corner now covered in cheese from the fight he and Tristan just had.  
  
"Hey! That's my woman!" Joey yelled. He tried to step forward but he tripped on the rug and hit the ground."  
  
[Zoot Suit Riot! Riot! Throw back a bottle of beer!] [Zoot Suit Riot! Riot! Throw a comb through your cold black hair. Go Daddy oh!]  
  
Yugi bopped along to the music as he sat in the spinning chair. Yami Bakura got up from the couch and walked over to Yugi. He thought it would be funny and spun Yugi's chair around really fast. Yugi was thrown from the chair and crashed into dancing Mai and Bakura.  
  
"Yami Bakura!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"What?" He said. He turned to the screen. "Enter search words here." He read out loud. A grin grew across his face. "Girls!" He yelled as he typed.  
  
"Yami Bakura no!" Yugi yelled but he couldn't pry him from the chair.  
  
"Girls, girls, girls!" He shouted and hits enter. The search results came up. He started clicking wildly at the screen. Pictures of naked women started popping up on the screen. Yugi stared for a moment and then started to blush.  
  
"That is gross!" Bakura said.  
  
"Girls! Girls!" He continued to ogle the pictures.  
  
"That's it!" Yugi slid under the desk and pulled the plug on the computer. The screen went blank.  
  
"What? Girls?" Yami Bakura whimpered..  
  
"No more for you." Mai scolded.  
  
Yami Bakura fell onto his back and started to whine. "It's not fair. I want girls. Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls! WAAAAAAA!"  
  
"Fine!" Yami Malik said. "I can't stand his whining." Yami Malik reached into his bag and pulled out a sports illustrated magazine -swim suit addition.  
  
"Girls!" Yami Bakura cheered and grabbed the magazine from him. he began to wildly look through all of the pages..  
  
Tea looked up from her spot on the couch. "Yami Malik, I'm ashamed of you." She said.  
  
He shrugged. "Hey, nobody's perfect."  
  
"Girls!" Yami Bakura hugged the book.  
  
Yami sat up straight. "Hey do you guys smell that?" Yami asked.  
  
Seto walked in to the room. "What's that burning smell?" He asked.  
  
Just then Tristan popped hi head from around the corner. "Oh, Chef Joey? I just thought that you'd like to know that the chicken a la pizza is that you so carelessly left in the oven. is now on fire."  
  
Joey hopped up. "Oh no!" He yelled as he ran into the kitchen.  
  
End of chapter 1  
  
Well, what do you think? Reviews please!!!!!! 


	2. Day 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Yu-gi-oh  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Tea poked at the charred bird that was sitting in the middle of the table. "We could say its Cajun." She said.  
  
"We could say it's really, really well done." Yugi added.  
  
"We could say that dog here ruined dinner." Seto growled.  
  
"Seto, you don't have to be so mean." Yugi said.  
  
"Why not. He ruined dinner." Seto said.  
  
"I told you we should have made pizza." Tristan said.  
  
"Everyone shut up!" Yami yelled. He walked over to the deep freeze and pulled out two boxes. "Here." he handed them to Joey. "Heat these up."  
  
"No!" Malik shouted. "He'll burn them too!"  
  
"Everyone out of the kitchen!" Yami yelled.  
  
Everyone cleared out of the room. He turned to Joey. "Just keep an eye on these. OK?"  
  
Joey nodded and Yami left the room.  
  
Back in the living room. All of the boys had started a tournament with the Nintendo Game Cube. They were playing karate games for two players at a time.  
  
"I've almost got you beat Yami." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Not quiet." Yami said and his character on the screen killed Yami Malik's.  
  
"Who's next?" Yami asked.  
  
Yami Malik grumbled and sat back against the couch. "This is stupid." He said. "Let's play something else."  
  
"What do you suggest?" Yami asked.  
  
"I know!" Duke shouted. "Let's play Jenga!"  
  
"What's that?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"It's simple. Here I have it in my bag." Duke pulled the long box out of his backpack. "You stack up all of the pieces and you take turns pulling them out one at a time. You then put those pieces back on top. Who ever knocks over the stack will lose. Got it?" Duke looked at everyone.  
  
They all nodded.  
  
"Are you playing Seto?" Tristan asked.  
  
Seto looked up from the book he'd been reading (not the magazine you sickos). "Thanks but I'm not into child's games."  
  
Everyone didn't care. They were bored.  
  
They all gathered in a circle and started taking turns pulling out the pieces. Yami Malik grunted, "This is too easy."  
  
"Just wait. It'll get harder." Duke said.  
  
They continued to pull out pieces from the stack and it began to tip. It was now Bakura's turn. "Don't screw up Bakura." his Yami warned him. He glared at him and carefully pulled out the piece. The tower swayed back and forth but didn't fall. Bakura wiped the sweat from his face.  
  
Up next was Malik. He studied the tower carefully and was unsure which piece to pull out. "Get on with it!" Yami Bakura shouted.  
  
"I'll take as long as I need." Malik said. He decided on a piece and gently pulled on it. The tower didn't hold though and came tumbling down.  
  
"Ha.Ha. You lose!" Yami Malik sneered.  
  
"I wouldn't have lost if Yami Bakura there hadn't rushed me!" He glared at him.  
  
"Don't blame me because you're a klutz!" Yami Bakura snapped.  
  
They all started arguing.  
  
"Quiet!" Seto shouted. The room fell silent. "You're all acting like a bunch of babies. You're not even playing for anything important. Mokuba is more mature than all of you combined!"  
  
Before anyone could respond Joey yelled that the pizza was ready and everyone went running.  
  
After dinner, everyone decided to go to bed. Everyone had to share a room since there were not enough. Tea and Mai shared a room, so did Yugi and Duke. Yami Malik and Yami Bakura shared Tristan and Joey, Bakura and Malik and Yami shared with Seto.  
  
Everyone got to sleep easily, except Yami Malik and Yami Bakura whom spent most of the night fighting over whom got each bed. The only thing you could hear most of the night was: "1,2,3 rock!"  
  
The next morning everyone got up and got dressed as best as they could.  
  
Seto walked down stair but the snow still appeared to be blocking all windows and exits. He grumbled at the sight. He decided to turn on the TV. He flicked it on and the overly perky news anchor came on the TV.  
  
"Good morning everyone and how is everyone doing? I hope you all slept well because things are not looking too good. I'll let weather woman Cindy explain." He said.  
  
The camera readjusted onto a brunet woman who looked like she'd had more plastic surgery than any doctor should recommend. Seto grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to listen to Cindy.  
  
"I'm afraid it isn't good Kip." She told the news anchor. "The blizzard doesn't want to give up. It has stopped snowing but the plowmen can't do anything to fix the problem. The snow is too deep and anything they do move just gets blown back into the streets again. It appears that we're all stuck where we are."  
  
Those words echoed in Seto's ears. He choked a little on the coffee. Stuck? With all of these people? No. He's barely been able to resist killing them yesterday. He couldn't handle more like this.  
  
"What's going on Seto?" Tea asked from the entrance to the living room.  
  
"Not good." He said. "You guys are gonna be stuck here for a while."  
  
"What?" She asked. "Impossible."  
  
"I wish." He muttered. "Better make yourselves comfortable. It's gonna be a long couple of days."  
  
Everyone was told as they came down stairs one by one. Each one also groaned as they came downstairs one by one.  
  
Yami Malik and Yami Bakura both sat back against the couch. "Stupid snow." They grumbled. "What are we supposed to do all day?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"I know!" Mai shouted. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a small pink box with a heart clasp on it. "I've got make-up!" She cheered.  
  
Both of the Yami's eyes grew giant with fear. "No way!" Yami Bakura said and took off down the hallway. Yami Malik wasn't so lucky though. Before he could even move, Mai had him pinned to the floor and was poised over him with a lipstick ready to go.  
  
"No!" He screamed but to no avail.  
  
"Hold still!" She shouted.  
  
"No!" He screamed again.  
  
She tried to put the lipstick on him but he bit off the end and ate it. "Ewww!" Mai said.  
  
Tea decided to help and held his head still.  
  
"Bitch!" He yelled at Tea.  
  
Just for that, both Yugi and Yami decided to help and pinned down his arms and legs.  
  
"No!" He screamed. "Yami Bakura! Help me!"  
  
Yami Bakura popped his head around the corner. "Sorry friend but you're on your own for this one."  
  
Yami Malik growled and squirmed but could not get free.  
  
Down the hallway Tristan and Joey were both getting bored and couldn't come up with anything to do.  
  
"I know!" Tristan shouted. He ran up the stairs and motioned for Joey to follow him. When he got to the top, he found that Tristan had pulled the lid off of a giant Tupper wear container and he'd flipped it over.  
  
"What are you going to do with that?" Joey asked.  
  
"I'm going tobogganing!" He cheered.  
  
"But we can't get outside Tristan." Joey said.  
  
Tristan laughed. "I'm not tobogganing outside. I'm going down the stairs!"  
  
"Are you sure that's safe?" Joey asked.  
  
"Of course it is." He said. "I saw them so it on 'Home Alone"." He said.  
  
"But the front door was open in the movie." He tried to warn Tristan but it was too late. Tristan had already started to go down the stairs.  
  
"Weeeeeee!" He shouted. He hit the front door with a thud.  
  
"Are you okay Tristan?" Joey shouted.  
  
Tristan looked up at him. "That was fun. Do it again!" He shouted.  
  
He brought the sled back up and handed it to Joey. "Your turn."  
  
Joey took the sled and hopped down the stairs. "Hey this is kinda fun." He thought. Just then Bakura walked out from the side door to the kitchen. "Bakura watch out!" Joey screamed but it was too late.  
  
Joey had pasted him to the wall like a bug on a windshield. "Bakura?"  
  
Bakura replied with a grunt as he slid down the wall. "How do you feel Bakura?" Joey asked.  
  
"Like absolute crap now thank you." He replied.  
  
Just then Yami Malik walked by. He reminded Bakura of a cross between Mimi Bobek and Bobo the clown.  
  
"Not a word." He snapped.  
  
"But."  
  
"Not a word!"  
  
Joey looked back at Bakura. "I actually feel much better now after that." Bakura said.  
  
Mai came out of the door. "Okay? Who's next?" She asked. All the guys took off down the hall screaming.  
  
"Run! She has concealer!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"It's for sensitive skin!" She yelled as she chased them down.  
  
"No please! I don't want to be glammed up!" Joey yelled.  
  
"But Joey, you'd look so good Glam. Like David Bowie." She insisted.  
  
"Get away from me you psycho!" He yelled back at her. He grabbed the bottle on the table.  
  
"Stay back! I have vinegar!" He yelled at her.  
  
"You wouldn't dare!" She narrowed her eyes into slits.  
  
"This is a matter of my masculinity. I'll do what I have to do." Joey said. Tristan and Bakura were cowering behind him.  
  
She backed down. "You have to sleep sometime." She yelled at them.  
  
They looked at each other. "It looks like we'll have to take shifts tonight staying awake." Tristan said.  
  
Yami Bakura was hiding in the closet when he noticed his prized bathing suit magazine sitting on the table across the room. "Girls!" He said to himself.  
  
He didn't want to leave the safe haven of the closet but he so badly wanted hi magazine. He looked out of the tiny crack in the door and didn't hear or see anything out of place. He decided it was safe. He carefully tiptoed out of the closet and picked up his magazine. He gave the front cover a kiss. He turned around to go back to his closet when he saw a figure blocking his entrance. It was Mai.  
  
"Gotcha!" She shouted.  
  
His screams could be heard through the whole house.  
  
Yami looked up from his spot on the couch. "Guess she got another one." He said.  
  
"We can't keep living in fear of her!" Bakura demanded. "We have to stand together and take that make up away from her."  
  
Joey held tighter onto his bottle of vinegar.  
  
"You don't know what it's like Bakura." Yami Malik said. "All of that lipstick and blush. It was terrible! I.I feel so violated." He began to sob.  
  
"I'm just scared of her. She's a lot stronger than she looks." Joey said.  
  
"Typical dog reaction." Seto laughed.  
  
"I'm not a dog!" Joey shouted. "I'll get that makeup from her." Joey stormed out of the room.  
  
He walked cautiously into the next room. He held the bottle like it was a gun ready to fire. As he walked though the room he found Yami Malik on the ground. His Face was covered in eye shadow and lip-gloss. He knelt down next to him. "Yami Bakura?" Joey nudged him.  
  
"Joey." He gasped. "She got me. I tried to save my magazine but I failed." He looked down at the magazine then held it out to Joey. "Here. Take good care of it. I won't last much longer. Everything is getting black."  
  
"That's the mascara running into your eyes." Joey told him.  
  
"Run Joey. You have to get away before she gets you too. You have too." He passed out.  
  
"Nooooo!" Joey shouted. "When will the massacre end?"  
  
He stood up and held the bottle ready. "Okay Mai. Show yourself!" He yelled.  
  
She came out from behind the corner with the eyelash curler reader.  
  
He immediately squeezed the bottle of vinegar and hit her right in the hair. Soaking her. She hissed in pain.  
  
"No! I'm melting! Melting. Oh what a world!" She cried.  
  
Joey grabbed the box of make-up and took off for the kitchen. "Die devil box!" He screamed as he through the makeup kit into the garbage disposal.  
  
"No!" Mai screamed and she ran toward the disposal but it was too late. The machine had destroyed the box. She sobbed into Joey's shoulder.  
  
"It's okay." Joey whispered. "It's over now."  
  
"But it was so young. I hadn't even opened the glitter packets yet." She sobbed.  
  
"Don't worry. There will be other make up kits." He assured her.  
  
Yami Malik looked down at Yami Bakura. He began to wipe the makeup off of his face. Yami Bakura's eyes opened. "Girls?" He asked.  
  
"I'll get you your magazine after I get you cleaned up." He said.  
  
Yami Bakura sighed and passed out.  
  
End of Chapter 2  
  
LET"S SEE THOSE REVIEWS!!! 


	3. Day 2n3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Yu-gi-oh  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 3  
  
After Yami Bakura had been cleaned up everyone sat down to dinner.  
  
"What did the great chef Joey make for us tonight?" Tristan mocked  
  
"I made Gyro's" He said proudly.  
  
"What's a Gyro?" Tea asked.  
  
"It's a fancy name for a roast beef sandwich." Seto said coldly.  
  
"Oh."  
  
After everyone had finished they all sat around in the living room.  
  
"I bored!" Yami Malik whined.  
  
"Me too." Said Duke.  
  
"What should we do?" Yugi asked.  
  
Yami Bakura ginned. "We should do a séance." He said.  
  
"What's that?" Joey asked.  
  
"You don't know what a séance is Joey? Wow, you really are ignorant." Seto laughed.  
  
"A seance is when you talk to the dead." Tea explained.  
  
"Gee. I don't know. That doesn't sound very safe." Bakura said.  
  
"Oh Bakura you are such a chicken!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"I am not. I just.Oh.never mind." He said.  
  
Yami Bakura pulled out a lighter and lit the candles Seto had found. "Now everyone form a circle and hold each other's hands." He said.  
  
"Joey, that isn't my hand."  
  
"Sorry Mai."  
  
Yami Bakura began shaking his voice. "Spirits of the next world. We ask that you come to us. Speak to us from beyond the grave."  
  
"Okay, I am a chicken." Bakura whimpered.  
  
"Quiet! You'll ruin it!" Malik snapped.  
  
The candles quivered slightly and Yami Bakura grinned. "They are present now. Who wants to ask the first question?" "I do!" Joey shouted. "I want to know if."  
  
Yami Bakura cut in. "You need to address them properly!"  
  
"Opps. Sorry." Joey said.  
  
"Stupid dog." Seto muttered.  
  
"I'm not a dog!" Joey shouted.  
  
"Just ask the question already!" Yami Bakura snapped.  
  
"Okay. Spirits of the next realm. Will Mai ever agree to go out with me?" He asked.  
  
"Not in your life." A voice responded.  
  
"Mai! You said that." Joey said.  
  
"I was simply speaking on their behalf." She said.  
  
"You guys are ruining it!" Yami Bakura yelled.  
  
"I'll ask the next question." Tea said.  
  
"Spirit of the underworld. When are we going to get out of Here?"  
  
It was silent for a moment and then a voice spoke. "You will all die in Here." It said.  
  
Everyone screamed and ran from the room.  
  
Yami Malik snickered. "I'm better at throwing my voice than I thought."  
  
The next morning Yami, Joey, Yami Malik and Duke were searching around the house for something to do. "I thought Seto would have more interesting things in this house." Yami Malik muttered.  
  
"Hey! What's in this room?" Duke popped open one of the door.  
  
"It's Mokuba's bedroom!" Yami said.  
  
The four began to walk around and go through his things.  
  
"Oh my god!" Duke shouted.  
  
"What's wrong duke?" Joey came over next to him.  
  
"Mokuba has Barbie Dolls!" He started to laugh.  
  
"It looks like He has all the accessories to: Malibu Dream House, convertible, swimming pool." Joey said.  
  
Everyone looked at him. "My sister has them okay!" He felt their judgmental eyes on him.  
  
The four stared at each other awkwardly. "You know." Yami Malik began. "We really have nothing better to do."  
  
"No one would have to know." Joey added.  
  
The four dove at the dolls. "I get to be Ken!" Yami yelled.  
  
"What do you mean you get to be Ken? I get to be Ken!" Yami Malik yelled.  
  
"I saw him first!" Joey yelled.  
  
"No He's mine!" Duke shouted.  
  
The four boys fought over the one doll and eventually Yami won.  
  
Joey got Skipper, Yami Malik got Barbie and Duke got Barbie's friend Amy.  
  
"Hi Barbie." Yami said holing the Ken doll upright next to the Barbie doll.  
  
"Hi Ken!" Yami Malik said.  
  
"No!" Joey yelled.  
  
"What?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"You're voice."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"You have to pretend to be a girl."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's a girl doll."  
  
"So?"  
  
"It doesn't work if you don't do it." He explained.  
  
"He's right." Yami said.  
  
"Fine." He muttered.  
  
"Hi Ken." He raised his voice.  
  
"Do you want to go for a ride in the convertible?" Yami asked.  
  
"No." Malik said.  
  
"Why no Barbie?" Yami asked.  
  
"Because you're just gonna try to get in my pant's again." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Hey! You're no playing right!" Yami said.  
  
"Well, it is kinda true Yami." Joey said. "I mean, Barbie is hot."  
  
"Fine then Barbie." Yami said. "I'll just go hang out with your friend Amy." Yami drove Ken away in the convertible. "Vroom. Vroom." He said.  
  
He stopped it next to Duke. "Hi Amy." Yami said. "Hi Ken." Duke said in a girly voice.  
  
"You want to come for a ride in the convertible?" Yami asked.  
  
"Sure." Duke said. He placed the doll into the car.  
  
Joey walked to skipper doll over next to the car. "My sister told me to tell you that Amy is a big slut and that she's kicking you out of the Malibu Dream House." Joey said in a high pitched voice.  
  
"What about all of my stuff?" Yami asked.  
  
"We pawned it all to the GI Joe figures." Joey said.  
  
"Where am I supposed to live." Yami asked.  
  
"You can live with your little fluzy!" Joey yelled. He walked the skipper doll away.  
  
Duke made the Amy Doll talk. "It's okay Ken. I still love you!"  
  
"Actually, get out of the car. I have to go back to Barbie." Yami said.  
  
"Why?" Duke asked  
  
"Cause I've got nowhere else to live." He said.  
  
"But I thought you loved me?"  
  
"Sorry." Yami then grabbed the Amy doll and through it out of the car. He then drove the car over to the Malibu Dream house.  
  
"Barbie I'm sorry." Yami said.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you." Yami Malik said.  
  
Joey put his doll in between. "Ya, she doesn't want to talk to you!"  
  
"OH get out of the way." Yami said. He grabbed the doll from Joey and pulled the Head off.  
  
"Yami! Those are Mokuba's!" Duke said.  
  
"I'll buy him a new one for Christmas." Yami said. "Barbie, please take me back. I promise to never ever look at another woman like that again." He said.  
  
Yami Malik turned the doll around. "Promise?" He said.  
  
"Yes." Yami said.  
  
"Oh I love you Ken!" Yami Malik said. HE then pressed his doll up against Yami's and made them kiss. Just then Tea and Mai walked in looking for them.  
  
"Holy Shit!" They screamed.  
  
The boys responded with shrieks of their own and all through the dolls away from them as if they had suddenly caught fire.  
  
"What were you guys doing?" Mai asked.  
  
"Nothing." Joey looked at the ground to hide how red his face was.  
  
"They were playing with Barbies!" Tea squealed.  
  
"We were not!" Yami Malik said.  
  
"Gee Joey and you thought Seto already made fun of you a lot. Just wait till He finds out." Mai said.  
  
"Please no! Please don't tell him. Can't you guys keep a secret?" Joey begged.  
  
The girls looked at each other and then back at the boys.  
  
"No!" They said and they ran downstairs. The four boys chase after them to try to stop them.  
  
End of Chapter 3  
  
Okay, I'm running out of things to do to them. I may have to make the snow melt soon. Please give me more ideas on what "fun activities" I can make them do. Reviews please! 


	4. Day 3

I would like to thank everyone for their helpful suggestions. I am now happy to report I have renewed my sugar high and I am ready to write the next chapter.  
  
Joey: Nooooo!!!!  
  
Lila: Why not?  
  
Joey: Because it's embarrassing!  
  
Lila: So?  
  
Joey: It's not fair.  
  
Lila: Yes it is.  
  
Joey: how so?  
  
Lila: Because I'm the one writing the story.  
  
Joey: But-  
  
Lila: ON WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Yu-gi-oh  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 4  
  
It was now mid after noon and Yugi and Yami were sitting in the kitchen together.  
  
"I can't believe you got caught with Barbie dolls." Yugi teased.  
  
Yami glared over his cup of coffee. "I wouldn't be talking. When you and I were one person I had access to your deepest secrets. You wouldn't want me to start telling everyone now would you?" Yami asked.  
  
"Okay. I'll be quiet." Yugi said. The two sat in silence for a while. Yugi finally spoke up. "What's in the cup?" He asked.  
  
"Coffee." Yami said.  
  
"Can I try some?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"Well.okay here." Yami handed the cup to Yugi who took one big gulp. Yugi sat back in his chair. All the blood in his body was suddenly swirling.  
  
"Are you okay Yugi?" Yami shook Yugi by the shoulder.  
  
Yugi's eyes had gotten huge and his face began to twitch. "He! He! I fell Grrrrreat!" He shouted. He hopped up from the chair and started running around the room at an incredible speed. "Weeeeee!" He shouted.  
  
"Yugi? What's wrong with you?" Yami asked him.  
  
Tea walked into the room and saw Yugi. She then glared at Yami. "What did you give him?" Tea scowled.  
  
"I just let him try my coffee." Yami protested.  
  
Tea gasped. "You can't give him coffee! You can't even give the boy caffeine at all. He reacts really badly to it." Tea explained.  
  
"Oops."  
  
"He! He! I'm an airplane! Vroom! Vroom" Yugi said. He spread out his arms and ran past Tea.  
  
"Yugi! Come back!" She shouted after him.  
  
"Weeeee!"  
  
Down the hall Yami Bakura sat in the corner growling at Yami Malik.  
  
"Yami Bakura. I want my magazine back." Yami Malik said.  
  
"No! Grrrrr." He replied.  
  
"It's mine though."  
  
"Mine now. Grrrrrr."  
  
Yami Malik was getting frustrated. "Then I'll take it by force!" He then reached out and grabbed at the magazine. Yami Bakura the bit down hard on his hand.  
  
"Ow!" Yami Malik said. "You bit me!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"I can't believe you actually bit me!" He shouted.  
  
Just then Yugi bolted by and snagged the magazine from Yami Bakura.  
  
"No!" Shouted Yami Bakura.  
  
"Weeeee!" Yugi shouted.  
  
He took off into the living room.  
  
"Quick Joey grab him!" Tea shouted.  
  
Joey dove at Yugi but missed. "Ha! Ha" Yugi shouted. He then turned the sharp corner and ran up stairs. Everyone tried to keep up with him but he was moving too quick for them. Yugi ran down the hall and dove into the first open door he found. He quickly turned around and locked the door behind him.  
  
Tea banged on the door. "Yugi! Open the Door!"  
  
"No! He! He!" He shouted.  
  
"Please Yugi? I'll give you more coffee." She tried to sound sweet as she could.  
  
"No!" Yugi replied.  
  
"Yugi, open the door before I break it down and kick your ass!" She yelled.  
  
At this point Yugi was no longer paying attention. He was now looking around the room. He'd ended up in Seto's room. The room was fairly plain, except for the poster of the Blue Eyes White Dragon on the far wall. Yugi started going through all of his stuff. Yugi opened the top drawer on his dresser. "He! He! Seto wears Tighty Whities!" He snickered to himself. He then noticed the corner of a piece of paper sticking out from under the bed. He went over a pulled it out. It was another girl magazine. With it came tumbling out at least thirty more. "Wow. Look at all the naked girly magazines." Yugi said.  
  
"Girls!" Came a shout from the other side of the door. Then there were a couple of bangs on it and it came crashing down. Yami Bakura came hurdling into the room like a cyclone and dove into the pile of magazines.  
  
"Weee!" Yugi shouted and he dodged past Tea again and ran back down the hall. "Weeee! Seto looks at dirty books! Seto looks at dirty books!" Yugi chanted.  
  
Just then Seto came down the hall and noticed the door missing to his room. "Hey!" He shouted. "Those are my ma-" He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Tea staring at him. "My um, my, my, where did Yami Bakura get all of those magazines from?"  
  
"You're worse than Yami Malik." Tea snapped. She then stormed down the hall. Seto walked into his room and over to Yami Bakura. Yami Bakura looked up at him. "Keep them." He said. "Consider it a birthday present." Yami Bakura shouted, "Yay!" and then he dove back into the pile.  
  
"Except for this one." Seto said as he picked up the one book. "This one is my favorite." He explained.  
  
Yami Bakura looked at the front page. It said: 'Dueling Card Girlies.'  
  
Yami Bakura scrunched his nose at the book. "You're sicker than I am." he said.  
  
Yugi ran down stairs again and found Mai crying. He stopped. "What's wrong Mai?" He asked as he frantically bounce around the room.  
  
"Joey destroyed the only makeup case I have in here." She whimpered.  
  
"What did it look like again?" Yugi asked.  
  
"It was pink and had a heart clip on it." She began to sob. "I was beautiful!" She started to wail.  
  
"Hmmm." Did it come with a Malibu Barbie?" Yugi asked.  
  
Mai calmed down. "Why?" She asked.  
  
"Well. I just say something like that up in Mokuba's room when I was helping clean up all the Barbie dolls. Weeeeee!" He then took off like a plane down the hall.  
  
"What?" Mai stood up and ran into Mokuba's room. There it was. The thing she'd been dreaming of. It was just like the last one and it was in mint condition. She picked it up and hugged it tightly in her arms. "I'll never let you go." She whispered to it softly. She then looked up and glared off into space. "It's time to make Joey pay for what he did to your sister." She said.  
  
Joey was sitting in the living room all by himself. He leaned back into the big reclining chair in the corner. He sighed with the comfort of the chair. "This is great!" He said. He then noticed the panel on the right side of the chair. "What does this do?" He wondered. He began pressing the buttons and the chair began to vibrate in different spots. "Cool!" He shouted. He leaned back into the chair and enjoyed the feel of it. "Life doesn't get any better than this." He said. He then noticed Mai standing in the doorway. "Hey Mai. What's going on?" He asked.  
  
She didn't speak. She walked over and waked him over the head with a pan she'd taken from the kitchen and knocked Joey out. She then dragged him out of the room.  
  
Bakura and Tristan were now bored and decided to go on the Internet and look for a game or something to look at.  
  
"Do you know any good Internet sites?" Bakura asked as he scrolled down the page.  
  
"Not really." Tristan said. "I'm not really into computers. Why don't you just use a search engine?"  
  
"Okay." Bakura said. "What should I search for?"  
  
Tristan sat back in thought for a moment. "Hmmm. How about Hot chicks?" Tristan said.  
  
"Tristan!" Bakura said.  
  
"Oh come on! Yami Bakura does it all the time. I want to see what all the fuss is about." Tristan said.  
  
"I'll have no part in it." Bakura said.  
  
"Fine. Trade me spots." Tristan said. The two then switched spots and Tristan began searching.  
  
"What's this?" Tristan said. "100 hottest pictures on the Internet. I have to see this!" He said.  
  
"I'm disappointed in you Tristan." Bakura said.  
  
"Oh shut up."  
  
Tristan clicked on the web page and the screen flipped to 'number 100'. "Oh. She's pretty." Tristan said. He then clicked on it again and it went to 99. "Ew. I guess this is boys and girls." Tristan said as the buff man wearing only a fire helmet popped onto the screen. He then clicked again and 98 came onto the page. "Oh my god!" Tristan shouted.  
  
"What? What is it?" Bakura asked.  
  
"It's Duke!" Tristan shouted.  
  
"Ewwww!" Bakura said.  
  
It was Duke Devlin and he was completely naked. The only thing covering him up was an over sized novelty die that he was holding in front of his private parts.  
  
"Change pages! It's hurting my eyes!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"I can't!" Bakura shouted. "The Internet connection is a dial up."  
  
"Seto is f&%*#(! Rich and he can't afford cable?" Tristan said. Duke then walked in. "What are you guys looking at?" Duke asked.  
  
"Nothing!" They yelled at the same time. Bakura attempted to cover the monitor while Tristan furiously tried to change the page.  
  
"Come on. I want to see." Duke whined.  
  
"No!" They shouted.  
  
"Let me see."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Fine." Duke said. "Be that way." He turned around and began to leave.  
  
The boys let out a big sigh and relaxed. Once again trying to change the page.  
  
Duke then ran up behind them and looked. "Oh my god!" He shouted as he stared at his naked visage.  
  
"We didn't search for this we swear. It was an accident. We're trying to change it we." Bakura was rambling.  
  
"How did I drop to 98?" Duke cried.  
  
"What!?"  
  
"I used to be 76 and now I'm 98? How can that be?" He cried. "Have I gone past my prime? Is that it? Am I losing me good looks?"  
  
"No way Duke. You're a very attractive man." Tristan said. He then realized what he'd said. "I mean, why are you putting pictures of yourself like that on the Internet?"  
  
"Oh." Duke said. "I didn't have that much money before I invented Dice Monsters and I needed another form of income."  
  
"So you did pornography?" Bakura said.  
  
"No! It isn't porno. I was almost a play boy you know." He gloated. "I like to call it, 'extreme art'."  
  
"It's porno." Bakura said.  
  
"It's not porno!" Duke yelled. "I'm just comfortable with myself physically. So what if I pose naked?"  
  
"It's gross." Bakura said.  
  
"You don't know what you're missing. You should try it sometime. It can be very therapeutic." Duke told him.  
  
"Hell no!" Bakura shouted. "How could that be therapeutic? Is everyone in this house a pervert?" He cried.  
  
Yugi runs by. "I'm not a pervert! I'm an airplane! Weeeee!" He then ran out the door flapping his arms.  
  
"Yugi! Please stop running!" Yami said. He was now chasing Yugi down along with Tea. "Don't make me use shadow magic on you!" He threatened.  
  
"That's great.." Tristan said in deep sarcasm. He'd now gotten fed up with the Internet connection and hit the off button on the monitor. He'd advise Seto to update the Internet connection to that computer later. The boys sat there in awkward silence for a moment then Tristan looked around.  
  
Then he asked, "Hey, has anyone seen Joey?"  
  
End Of Chapter 4  
  
How much worse can it get huh? Let me tell you. If I find some more pixie stix it could get A LOT worse. Mwaa aaa aaa aaa! Review Please! 


	5. Day 4

Lila: Thank you for all the great suggestions and reviews. They were very helpful. I also appreciated the pile of pixie stix left in my mailbox. *Starts eating pixie stix*. He he. Sugar high good! Especially for this story.  
  
Yugi: I'm an airplane! Weeeee.  
  
Lila: Don't you think that's getting a little old?  
  
Yugi: huh? Fine. I was tired of being an airplane anyway.  
  
Lila: Good.  
  
Yugi: I want to be a cat. Meow!  
  
Lila: Oh dear. I think I've just made it worse.  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Joey stirred away. He felt a throbbing pain in his head but when he reached to touch it, he realized his hands were chained. "What's going on?"  
  
Just then Mai walked out from the darkness with her hands behind her back.  
  
"Oh, thank goodness Mai. Can you get me down from here?" Joey asked.  
  
She walked up to him and looked him straight in the face. "No."  
  
"Why not?" He asked.  
  
"You killed my makeup kit!" She accused him. She pressed her finger against his nose.  
  
"Mai, you'd gone crazy. You were giving everyone a make-over."  
  
"So?" She asked. "They all needed them. I made them beautiful."  
  
"You made them look like crack whores." Joey said.  
  
This really ticked Mai off. "Just for that, I'm going to do even more than a make over."  
  
"But you don't have any makeup." Joey said.  
  
"Oh really?" She said. She then pulled her other hand out from behind her back to reveal the small box.  
  
"WHAA! It can't be!" He shouted.  
  
"Oh but it is." She grinned.  
  
"What else are you going to do to me." He was getting nervous.  
  
"Oh don't worry." She said sweetly. "Everyone will get to see it."  
  
She then moved in for the attack. "Noooooooo!" Joey screamed.  
  
Down stair, Tea was busy cutting out news articles from an old newspaper. "Why are you doing that?" Yami asked.  
  
"Because," She said. "I'm collecting them for my current events articles."  
  
"But that newspaper is almost a week old." Yami pointed out.  
  
"Well.It's as current as it is going to get." Tea said.  
  
"Meow!" Yugi ran into the room and hopped up on the back of the couch. "I'm a cat!" He then proceeded to licking his hand and brushing it against his hair. "Meow!"  
  
"That's nice Yugi." Tea said and never looked up from her magazines.  
  
"Meow!"  
  
"Why aren't you trying to catch him anymore?" Yami asked.  
  
Tea set down the scissors and leaned back against the front of the couch. "I've given up." She explained. "He's to fast. He'll calm down eventually."  
  
Yami gave a grunt that didn't sound all that reassuring. That was when Yugi lifted his leg and attempted to clean himself like an actual cat. He failed miserable and fell off the side of the couch. "Meow!" He whined.  
  
"Yugi, don't do that. It's gross." Yami said. Yugi popped his head up over the corner.  
  
"You can't tell me what to do." Yugi said.  
  
"Because you're a cat?" Yami asked.  
  
"No." Yugi said. He then walked over and picked up Tea's scissors. "Because I am the hair man and I've come to collect your hair!" He dove at Yami who side stepped out of the way.  
  
"Yugi, you've lost your mind!" Yami yelled at him.  
  
"No I haven't." Yugi stood still for a moment. "It's right here." He whacked himself on the head. "Ow." He whined. "You tricked me into hurting myself. You will pay!"  
  
He then snapped the scissors at Yami and ran right at him. Yami then ran out the door and into the hallway. "Some one help! He's trying to cut my hair!" Yami shouted. Tea had walked out the door behind them with a sigh. She thought it was pointless to follow him. They'd just out run her. Just then Tea noticed the feet in high heels that were on the edge of the stair. "Wow Mai." Tea gasped. "That's the best pedicure I've ever seen. You could go into..." She stopped when she looked up and realized it wasn't Mai. "Oh my god!" she screamed.  
  
It was Joey. Mai had done the works. She'd even put him in a dress and.ewww.shaved his legs!  
  
"Joey what happened to you?" She gasped. She looked him up and down. He was wearing bight red nail polish and red pump. A red semi-translucent complimented the black mini-skirt and black tank top over top to the dress. He also had his nail done and was wearing bright red lipstick. His eyes were coated in mascara and his hair was done up with barrettes. "Gee Joey. You actually look pretty good." Tea said.  
  
"Really? No wait. Look what she did to me!" He screamed.  
  
Just then Tristan walked around the corner. "Hey good lookin---AHHHHHHHH! Joey!" He screamed as he realized who it was.  
  
"That's the second man you've hit on today." Bakura patted him on the back.  
  
"You tell me he doesn't look like a chick." Tristan demanded.  
  
"Thanks Tristan." Joey said.  
  
"Well, if I didn't know who he was, I suppose I would mistake him for a girl." Bakura said.  
  
"He looks like a classy hooker." Tea said.  
  
"Hey!" Joey shouted.  
  
Mai ran up behind him. "Say cheese!" She shouted. The bright flashing light hit Joey in the eyes before he knew what had happened.  
  
Mai pulled the picture out of the front of the camera. "Perfect." She said.  
  
"What are you going to do with that?" Joey asked.  
  
"Oh nothing." She cooed as she walked down the stairs. "I'm just going to post it on the Internet." She took off for the computer.  
  
"Nooo!" Joey yelled. He tried to run after her but the high heels tripped him up.  
  
Mai ran to the computer but discovered there was no scanner. "Shit." She said. She then noticed Seto sitting on the couch. "Seto deary." She cooed to him.  
  
"What Mai?" He said bluntly.  
  
"Do you have a scanner."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can I use it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why no?"  
  
"Because it's in the west wing."  
  
"Oh please!" She begged. "You'll be glad you did."  
  
"Why would I be glad?" He looked up from his book.  
  
"Because everyone on the World Wide Web would get to see this." She held out the now developed photo to him.  
  
Seto stared at the picture then back at Mai. He hopped up and grabbed her by the wrist. "Come on!" he shouted.  
  
"Why in such a hurry?" Mai asked.  
  
"Because we need to make it down there before Joey figures out how to walk in those shoes!"  
  
Yami ran past them. "Some one PLEASE help me?" He yelled.  
  
He spun around the corner and up the stairs with Yugi close behind.  
  
Yugi was right behind him. "You can't escape from me!" He yelled.  
  
Yami ran down the hall and into Seto's room where Yami Bakura was sitting in his pile of magazines as if he were in heaven. Yami leaped over the bed and over the pile. He stood in a stand off with Yugi across the pile of magazines. "What the hell are you to doing?" He asked.  
  
"Yugi's going to cut my hair." Yami said.  
  
"You could make this easier my just holding still. The hair collector needs your hair." Yugi said.  
  
"You guys are too weird." Yami Bakura said and sat back into his pile.  
  
"We can't stay like this forever you know." Yami said.  
  
"You're right. CHARGE!" Yugi screamed as he dove at Yami. Yami ran around and out the door again. Yugi couldn't stop though. He seemed so blinded by what he was doing he did even notice where he was landing. "Take that!" Yugi yelled. "And that!"  
  
"No!" Screamed Yami Bakura. "Yugi! Stop it! My Books!"  
  
By the time Yugi realized what he had done, he had shredded most of the magazines to piece. A few of them still remained.  
  
"No!" Cried Yami Bakura. "Look what you've done!"  
  
Yugi stared at the mess. "Opps." He said. He then looked at Yami Bakura. "I'm a cat air plane."  
  
"So why are you trying to cut Yami's hair then?"  
  
"The plane needs Yami's hair for fuel. Vroom!" He then ran out of the room after Yami.  
  
Yami Bakura sat there trying to pick out the unharmed magazines. "My girls!" He cried.  
  
Duke was sitting at the computer staring at his picture. "98?" He muttered. He ran the mouse over his picture. "Now can that be?" Just then the screen flickered with an update. The big picture of 98 above the photo changed to a 99. "What!" Duke screamed. "That his [beep] ridiculous. How the [beep] did I get 99? What the [beep] [beep] and the [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] is that going to be [beep] [beep] [beep] (my hand is getting sore from hitting the censor button so I'll stop him there)  
  
"Who?" He shouted. "Who has bumped me down!" He then went to the search engine on the page and click new photos. Duke was growling. He then saw a link to the newest photo call 'little skirt'. He clicked on the photo. "Stupid bitch bumped me. Lets just see how great she really is." He growled.  
  
The photo began to load. Duke stared at it wide eye. "Joey?" He said.  
  
Yami ran furiously down the hall and tried to open the last door. It was locked. He turned to see Yugi down at the other end. "There's no escape now Yami." He said.  
  
"Please have mercy." Yami begged. "My hair is like, my icon. I'm no good without it."  
  
"That was my hair first!" Yugi shouted. "And I'm taking my hair back. Ahhhhhh!" Yugi yelled as he charged at Yami. Yami closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. He suddenly heard a door open and a load whack as something ran into it.  
  
He looked up to see Yugi sliding down the side of the door he'd ran into. Malik stood there in shock.  
  
"Malik! You're my hero!" Yami shouted. He ran over to Malik and gave him a huge hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." He rambled.  
  
"Sure Yami. I just.okay." Malik was still confused. He had no idea what was going on. All's he'd wanted was to go to the bathroom in peace.  
  
Joey ran into the living room to the computer where Duke was sitting. "Did she beat me to it?" Joey asked in a pant.  
  
"Yep." Duke said.  
  
"Nooooo!" Joey shouted. He looked at the screen. "34?" He asked.  
  
"That's right." Duke sighed.  
  
"You're number 34 and I'm pathetic number 99."  
  
Tristan couldn't help but snicker.  
  
"What does number 34 mean?" Joey asked.  
  
"It's the 100 hottest pictures on the Internet." Duke explained. "You're number 34 out of 100."  
  
"Really?" Joey asked. "Well I knew I was good lookin' but if I'm number 34 then they must think I'm hot. Damn hot!"  
  
"Joey. They think you're a girl." Tristan tried to tell him but Joey wasn't listening. "Wow. 34." He muttered.  
  
"I've been beat by Joey!" Duke wailed in a dramatic voice. "There's no point in going on." He ran into the kitchen and towards the counter with the knives on it. "No Duke! Don't!" Screamed Tea as she chased after him.  
  
"Stay back!" He shouted. "I'm going to eat this expired kids lunchable and end my sorry life!" He picked up the open plastic container.  
  
"Don't do it Duke. It's not worth it!" Tea shouted.  
  
"What does it matter?" Duke asked. "My life is over."  
  
He looked at the box. "Good bye cruel world!" He shouted and then started to eat the lunchable. He then laid down and closed his eyes.  
  
"Noooooo!" Shouted Tristan as he ran over to Duke's side.  
  
Tea picked up the box Duke had eaten from. "Wait! This isn't expired!" She said.  
  
Duke sat up. "Really?"  
  
"Nope. You read the date wrong." Tea said.  
  
"Oh." Duke said.  
  
"Are you still going to try to kill yourself?" Tristan asked.  
  
"No." Duke said. "Killing yourself takes to much work. I think I'll just eat some popcorn and watch TV."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Duke grabbed a cold bag of popcorn sitting on the counter and went out into the living room.  
  
"What should we watch?" Tea asked.  
  
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry." Yami Malik chanted from behind them.  
  
"No!"  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
REVIEWS PLEASE!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Another Day

Lila: La la la la! Yum! Pixie Stix!  
  
Seto: Who gave her more pixie stix?  
  
CJ: I did!  
  
Seto: Why?  
  
CJ: I dunno. Just felt like it.  
  
Yugi: Sugar!!!!! (Dives at Lila for Pixie Stix)  
  
Lila: NO! Mine! (Whacks Yugi over the head)  
  
Yugi: @_@  
  
Seto: (sighs) I guess I'll have to be the mature one. Lila doesn't own anything related to Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: SUGAR!!!  
  
Seto: And apparently does not own any sanity at the moment either.  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Everyone was sitting in the main room now.  
  
"Man am I bored!" Joey whined.  
  
"Why is there nothing to do in your house Seto?" Malik asked.  
  
Seto glared. "There's lots of things to do!" He snapped.  
  
"Like what?" Bakura said.  
  
"How about Twister?" Tristan asked.  
  
"No." Duke said. "I have to keep an eye on my ratings."  
  
"Forget about the fucking ratings!" Seto yelled. "You people are all sick. You all obsess over the dumbest things!"  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you Seto." Yami Malik asked. "Why are you all pissy?"  
  
Seto stood up. "Because you people are driving me crazy!"  
  
Just then they heard some rustling coming from Yami.  
  
"What do you have there Yami?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Nothing." He snapped.  
  
"I don't think so." Bakura said.  
  
"Stay away." He snapped again.  
  
"He's got chocolate!" Mai shouted.  
  
"I thought we were all out?" Duke said.  
  
"No. This is the last on and it's mine." He said.  
  
"That's not fair." Joey said. "We should all have an equal chance of getting the chocolate."  
  
"How do you propose we do that?" He asked.  
  
"A competition." Seto said.  
  
Everyone looked at him confused. "What sort of competition?" Yami asked.  
  
"A fast." Seto said. 'We all have to give up the one thing we truly love and put it away. The last person standing wins."  
  
"Sounds fair enough." Said Tristan. "So what will each of us give up?"  
  
"I say Mai gives up her make-up kit." Joey said.  
  
Mai whimpered a little. "Oh yeah? Well I think you should have to give up food. The only thing you are aloud to eat is energy shakes and only 2 per day."  
  
"That's not fair!" Joey yelled.  
  
"Yes it is." Mai said.  
  
Joey grumbled something under his breath but no one heard. Yugi looked at Yami. "Yami, I think you should have to give up wearing leather."  
  
"But it's all I wear." Yami whined.  
  
"You can borrow some of my clothes if you really have to." Seto said.  
  
"And you should have to give up your dueling deck and technology." Yami said to Seto.  
  
"But that's two things." Seto said.  
  
"Do you really want the chocolate?" Yami asked.  
  
"Fine." He snapped.  
  
"Duke isn't aloud to look at his ratings or play with his dice." Tea said.  
  
"Tea isn't aloud to talk!" Duke shot back.  
  
"Deal!" Tea said. (Frankly I just wanted to see her shut-up. Opps not supposed to put in author's notes.)  
  
"Yugi isn't aloud to play any games." Tristan said.  
  
"But-" Yugi protested.  
  
"Sorry Yug, we all have to suffer." Joey pouted.  
  
"Well in that case. Tristan isn't aloud to look at anything related to motorcycles!" Yugi said.  
  
"And Yami Bakura." Bakura said. "You have to give up your magazine."  
  
"No!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"It's only for a while." Bakura reassured him.  
  
Yami Bakura stared at the magazine then back at Bakura. "Fine." He hands the magazine over. "And you're not allowed to look in any mirrors."  
  
"But." Bakura protested. "What if my hair gets ruffled?"  
  
"No." Yami Bakura said.  
  
Bakura growled.  
  
"What about you two?" Yugi looked at Malik and Yami Malik. "We never really liked chocolate." Malik said. "We'll just be the referees." Yami Malik said.  
  
Everyone agreed. The motorcycle books, dirty magazines, dueling cards and other things were piled into a cardboard box and place in the corner.  
  
"Precious." Yami Bakura whimpered and pawed at the air towards the box.  
  
"Just keep thinking about the chocolate my friend." Yami Malik said. Yami Bakura still kept whimpering and staring at the box.  
  
Yami adjusted the awkward close. "This is ridiculous." He said.  
  
Seto thought to himself. (This is a piece of cake! I can go forever without my deck and technology.right?)  
  
Mai looked around. "So now what do we do?" She asked.  
  
Yami Bakura snapped. "I can't take it anymore!" He ran over to the box and ripped the magazine out. He huddled up in the corner and caressed the book. "Precious." He whispered. (I don't care if it's a spoof!)  
  
"Well. I guess Yami Bakura is out. Yugi said. "Now what?"  
  
"He he. Yami Bakura is so stupid." Tea said.  
  
"Ha! You lose!" Joey shouted.  
  
"What?" Tea asked.  
  
"You talked." Yugi said.  
  
"Oh shit!" Tea said.  
  
"That's two down already only." Joey tried counting it out on his fingers.  
  
"Seven Joey." Tristan said.  
  
"I knew that!" Joey snapped.  
  
"Sure you did dog." Seto said.  
  
"For the love of.I'm not a dog!"  
  
Tea had had an idea but was too busy muttering under her breath to say it.  
  
"Anyone else?" Yugi asked the others.  
  
Mai stood up. "I know!" She said. "Let's do Cherokee!"  
  
Everyone agreed. "Seto do you have a machine?" Tristan asked.  
  
"Third door on the left of the hall next to the kitchen." He said.  
  
He brought back the machine and tried to set it up. "Stupid thing doesn't work." Tristan said.  
  
"Here. Let me try." Joey said. He fiddled with the wires for a minute and one of them snapped. "Opps." He said,  
  
"You're going to break it stupid dog!" Seto said. "Here. Let me." Seto walked over and began adjusting the wires. He wasn't aware that Joey had actually broken a wire and the wire made contact with his finger. Seto was electrocuted. He lay on the floor.  
  
"Seto? Are you alright?" Yami asked.  
  
"I'm fine mommy. I want to ride the pink pony." Seto said.  
  
"That can't be good." Joey said.  
  
"Mommy? Are we going to the circus tomorrow?" Seto asked Yami.  
  
"I'm not your mommy!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Yes you are. And you're so pretty too." Seto said.  
  
"Aww. Yami. He likes you." Joey teased.  
  
Yami turned and glared at Joey. "I've sent you to the shadow realm before. Don't make me do it again."  
  
"Shutting up sir."  
  
Seto sat up and hugged Yami's leg. "Please don't leave mommy. I'm scared of the strange people." He said.  
  
"I'm not your mommy!" Yami said. "Let go of my leg!"  
  
"But I love you mommy!" Seto pleaded.  
  
"Someone get him off of me!" Yami yelled. Yami tried to walk away but Seto had a firm grip on his leg. "I preferred you when you were all pissy Seto." Yami said.  
  
Seto bit Yami. "Ow. Why did you just bite me?" Yami demanded.  
  
"Mommy shouldn't swear." Seto said.  
  
"I'm not your mommy!"  
  
"Here Seto. Would you like to watch some TV?" Mai asked.  
  
"Yay!" Seto said. He sat down on the couch next to my. "Thanks Daddy!"  
  
"I'm not your daddy you over-sized twerp!" Mai shouted.  
  
Seto began to cry. "WAAAAA. Mommy! Daddy is being mean!" Seto cried to Yami.  
  
"I'm no your mommy." Yami yelled. Seto began to cry louder. "WAAAAA!"  
  
"For the love of Ra! Just pretend to be his mommy and daddy! Maybe he'll stop crying!" Malik said. He covered his ears trying to block out the noise.  
  
Yami sighed. "Fine." He said. He sat down next to Seto. "Seto your.Mommy- want's you to stop crying okay?"  
  
Seto stopped immediately. "Okay."  
  
"What should we watch?" Mai asked.  
  
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" Yami Malik chanted.  
  
"No!" Seto said. "I want to watch power rangers!"  
  
"No. Jerry!" Yami Malik shouted.  
  
"Power Rangers."  
  
"Jerry!"  
  
"Power Rangers."  
  
"Can't you two agree on something?" Mai asked.  
  
Both realized they weren't going to get what they wanted. The two both fell onto the floor and started whaling on their backs. "WHAAAAAA!!!"  
  
Mai leaned over to Yami. "I'm never having kids." She said.  
  
Yami replied. "After this.I don't even think I could convince myself to adopt."  
  
End Of Chapter 5  
  
I know. I'm sure you all wanted to see them get up and sing. Maybe later. Right now I'm going to enjoy manipulating Seto.  
  
Seto: Sometimes I really do want to call you a bitch Lila.  
  
Lila: Pardon me?  
  
Seto: (Stammers) But you are just so nice and beautiful and.did I mention how nice you are and how you would never hurt me in anyway because you're so beautiful.  
  
Joey: Hurt him Lila!  
  
Lila: No.I'm not in the mood. I'll let him off the hook. Seto: (Sighs)  
  
Joey: Not fair. I'm never let off the hook!  
  
Lila: I guess you just have bad timing.  
  
Joey: (Grumbles)  
  
Lila: Reviews Please! 


	7. A Change of Pace

Lila: Sorry I haven't updated this story in so long. I've been off enjoying my holiday. I'm sure you're all looking forward to the next chapter.  
  
Seto: I'm not  
  
Lila: Why not?  
  
Seto: I'm calling Yami mommy. HOW EMBARRASING IS THAT!  
  
Yami: I'll admit that it is not very comforting to hear him call me that.  
  
Lila: I just get back and you're already complaining.  
  
Both: Yes  
  
Lila: Stop whining and one of you had better do the disclaimer before I make you two go drags in the story.  
  
Yami: Lila doesn't own anything related to Yu-gi-oh!  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 7  
Yami was sitting in the living room with Duke and Tristan. All of them were fidgeting and couldn't stop staring at the box. "This is just too hard." Duke said.  
  
"Giving up already?" Tristan asked.  
  
"No." Duke said. "You'll crack long before I do!"  
  
"Not likely." Tristan laughed.  
  
"Would you two shut up!" Yami snapped at them. He adjusted the clothes continuously but could not find anyway to make them comfortable. He growled as he tugged at the clothes but suddenly he tugged too hard and heard a rip. "Opps." He said. He looked down and saw the large rip in the crotch of his pants. Yami couldn't stand it anymore. "This is ridiculous!" He shouted. He tore off the shirt. "I can't stand cotton!"  
  
"Yami! Go change upstairs!" Tristan yelled. He covered his eyes out of embarrassment.  
  
Yami realized what he was doing and blushed. "Sorry." He said. He grabbed the clothes he'd already torn off and went up stairs to change.  
  
Seto walked past Yami on the stairs but the two would not give each other eye contact. Seto walked down the stairs rubbing his head and walked into the living room.  
  
"How momma's boy?" Duke asked.  
  
"Shut up!" Seto snapped. He walked over to the box and pulled out his dueling deck.  
  
"You give up?" Tristan asked.  
  
"I don't care anymore." He grumbled.  
  
"Fine. Just means that the chocolate is one step closer to being mine." Tristan said.  
  
"Whatever." Seto said.  
  
In the kitchen, Mai was torturing Joey by backing a triple cheese pizza. She pulled it out of the oven.  
  
"Wow does that ever smell good." She said.  
  
Joey leaned over the counter and stared at the heavenly disk with wide eyes. "Yeah." He said.  
  
"Would you like a piece?" She asked.  
  
Joey sat back. "No. I'm not gonna break down that easy." He said.  
  
"Suit yourself." She said. She cut herself a piece off and took a bite. She groaned with delight and continued to say how good it tasted. Joey gulped.  
  
"I can't believe you would pass this up." She commented.  
  
"I'm strong. I can do this." Joey said.  
  
She groaned again taking another bite. "You know what this need?" She said.  
  
"What?" He asked. He was beginning to show signs of breaking.  
  
"It needs some hot sauce." She walked over and put some on the slice. "Isn't that how you like your pizza?" She asked.  
  
"Why was I such a moron to sit in the kitchen?" He said. He began to leave but Mai blocked the door. "Where are you going?" She asked. She waved the piece of pizza under his nose.  
  
"I need to go to the bathroom." He lied.  
  
"Come on." She gave him a sexy look. "Just one little bite."  
  
Joey couldn't take anymore. "I give!" He shouted. He ran over to the pizza box and didn't even bother to cut the piece. He scarfed it down without taking a breath. Mai walked over with a smug look on her face. "I knew you'd never hold out." She said. Joey looked up. "Hey Mai. I think that pizza grease has given you a pimple on your chin." He said.  
  
"WHAT! I know! I need concealer!" She shouted. She ran into the living room to get her kit.  
  
"Sucker."  
  
By this point Malik was pacing up and down one of the halls.  
  
I can't take much more of this. He thought to himself. These people are out of their minds. I can't deal with all of them. How am I supposed to deal with them?  
  
He walked around the hall even more frustrated. His foot then caught on a small crack. He stumbled a little but then regained his balance. He noticed that the floor panel he'd caught his foot on was loose. He kneeled down and lifted at the panel. It came off easily. He looked down into what appeared to be the beginning of a tunnel. He couldn't help but crawl inside.  
  
As he moved around the tunnel he felt it widen at the bottom. He patted around to find what felt like a shovel and then a flashlight. He turned on the flashlight and gasped at where he was.  
  
It was Mokuba's secret hide away. Where he'd gotten the free time to dig this under the house was beyond him (It's Anime so just go with it) He looked around. Had Seto's brother been trying to dig a hole to escape? He didn't this so. It looked like a little boy's clubhouse. He then got a great idea. He could dig his way to another place. Any place except this one. He'd need help though. He crawled back out and looked for the specific people he needed.  
  
Just then there was a loud scream from upstairs.  
  
"Who did it!" Screamed Tea. "Who ate the chocolate?"  
  
Everyone ran into the room. "Some one ate it? Who cheated?" Yami demanded.  
  
"I was still in the game too!" Duke demanded.  
  
"Me too." Bakura whined.  
  
"I think Tea did it!" Joey pointed at her with an accusing look.  
  
"I did not!" She demanded.  
  
"You were the only person in the room" Yugi pointed out.  
  
"So?" Tea asked.  
  
"So no one else could have taken it." Bakura told her.  
  
"But I didn't do it!" She demanded.  
  
"Then who did?" Tristan asked.  
  
Just then a small ball of hair ran out from under the couch.  
  
"Rat!" Screamed Mai.  
  
The rat crawled up onto the TV with the chocolate bar in it's teeth.  
  
"Hey. The rat took it!" Yami shouted.  
  
"Ewww. I don't want it anymore." Bakura said.  
  
"That means I win!" Duke cheered.  
  
"You really want it know?" Seto asked.  
  
Duke stared at the rat for a moment. "No actually."  
  
"Kill it! Kill it!" Mai screamed.  
  
"Chill out Mai. It's just a rat." Joey said.  
  
"It's gross! Kill it!" Mai said.  
  
Joey walked over and picked the rat up.  
  
Seto said, "I don't see how I could have a rat. My house was just pest controlled."  
  
Joey patted the rat on the head.  
  
"See he's just a sweet little rat." Joey said.  
  
"That's so gross!" Screamed Mai.  
  
"Hey Mr. Rat. I'm gonna call you Mai." Joey said.  
  
"You're naming the rat after me?" Mai said.  
  
"Sure." Joey said. "He has your eyes."  
  
Mai glared at Joey.  
  
"Yep. Exactly the same." He said.  
  
Mai was furious and stormed out of the room.  
  
"Who's a good little rat?" Joey spoke to the rat in a baby voice. Just then the rat bit down on Joey's hand. "Ahhhhh!" He screamed.  
  
Everyone else began to panic. "Get it off!" Joey shouted.  
  
At this point Malik had rounded up Yami Malik, Bakura and Yami Bakura. The four boys were busily digging away at the ground away from the mansion.  
  
"Dig faster Bakura!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"I'm going as fast as I can!" He shot back.  
  
"Stop fighting." Malik said. "They may hear you."  
  
The boys continued digging at the ground. They eventually had a very long tunnel formed. "Should we start digging up?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Probably." Yami Malik said. The boys then dug upward till they reached a solid surface.  
  
"Great! Now what?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"I've got an idea!" Yami Bakura said. "Here plastic explosives" He handed them to Yami Malik.  
  
"Why do you have plastic explosives?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"When I'm not reading I make explosives in my spare time." He explained.  
  
"Right.'reading'" Bakura said in a sarcastic voice.  
  
"Shut up!" Yami Bakura said. Yami Malik set up the plastic explosive against the solid surface. "Whose gonna light it?" He asked.  
  
"1, 2, 3, Not it!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Oh shit!" Bakura said. "No fair!"  
  
"Yes it is. Here. Use my light." Yami Bakura said. He handed him the lighter.  
  
"Gee thanks." Bakura said. The other boys ran back further into the tunnel and waited.  
  
Bakura flicked the lighter a few times but it didn't work. "Stupid thing must be out of lighter fluid." He said. He held the lighter up to his head and listen as he flicked it. "What's that smell?" He asked. He then realized that it had lit and he'd lit his hair. "Shit!" He smacked at his head to put out the fire. He whimpered at the thought of his newly fringed hair.  
  
"Hurry up Bakura!" Malik yelled.  
  
"Get your knickers out of their knots!" Bakura yelled back.  
  
He lit the lighter again and held it up against the explosive. The next thing he knew he was being blown back through the tunnel screaming. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"  
  
He crashed into Yami Malik. "Get off of me!" He snapped.  
  
"That was some brilliant idea Yami Bakura!" Bakura said.  
  
"It worked." Yami Bakura pointed at the light coming from the tunnel.  
  
"Free at last. Free at last. Thank God All Mighty from these idiots I'm free at last!" Malik said.  
  
The boys crawled up the tunnel and towards the light. They came up at the top and looked around in awe.  
  
"Now way!" Malik said.  
  
"This is just a dream!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"It can't be." Bakura said.  
  
"Were in a shopping mall!" Yami Malik shouted.  
  
The boys hopped up and down so happy. "And the others will never find us because Yami Bakura covered up the hole." Malik said.  
  
"No I didn't" He said.  
  
"Then Bakura did."  
  
"Wasn't me."  
  
"Yami Malik?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Oh shit."  
"Hold still." Yami said. Yami had grabbed a broom out of the hall and was now trying to swing at the rat. He took a swing and hit Joey. "The rat! Not me!" Joey said.  
  
"Sorry." Yami said. He took a second swing and hit the rat hard. The rat released and landed on the ground. Everyone gathered around the motionless carcass of the rat.  
  
"Do you think it's dead?" Tristan asked.  
  
Just then the rat opened it's eyes and looked up at them. It flipped over and hissed at them.  
  
"Run! It's gone nuts!" Tea shouted.  
  
Everyone took off out into the hall. Mai stood in the hall confused. "What are you guys yelling about?" She asked.  
  
"Rat!" Screamed Joey. He grabbed Mai by the wrist and dragged her with him. The rat tore around the corner after them. All of them were so busy checking where the rat was that they didn't see the hole that the other four boys had left open. Each of them fell in creating a giant dog pile.  
  
"Get off!" Yami grunted.  
  
"Joey, you're on my hair!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"Oh no." Mai said.  
  
"What's wrong Mai?" Yugi asked.  
  
"The rat!" She yelled.  
  
The rat stared into the whole. Its eyes were dark and angry. He stared at them and began to growl.  
  
"Run!" They all took off down the tunnel and the rat followed. The rat suddenly stopped.  
  
"Why did it stop chasing us?" Tea asked.  
  
"Because the tunnel is caving in!" Yugi yelled.  
  
Everyone ran out of the tunnel just as it collapsed. They stared around at their surroundings then at the boys sitting on the edge of the mall fountain.  
  
"Oh shit." Mail said.  
  
End Of Chapter 7  
  
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Now I'm gonna have some real fun. He he! WEEEEEEEEE. You thought they got into a lot of trouble stuck in Seto's house now imagine what I'm going to do to them trapped in a mall.  
  
Joey: I'm scared. *Clings to Seto*  
  
Seto: Let go of me!  
  
Yugi: This is only gonna get worse isn't it?  
  
Lila: Yep  
  
Mika: I'm glad I'm not in this story.  
  
CJ: I second that!  
  
Lila: How about some reviews please? 


	8. Birds, Music, Coffe Beans and Dog Suits

Lila: Weeeeee!!!!! Next chapter! Weeeee!!!!  
  
Seto: Oh shit! She's been given sugar again.  
  
Joey: So what do we do?  
  
Bakura: I guess we start the story without her.  
  
Lila: No! (Whacks Bakura on the head)  
  
Bakura: @_@  
  
Joey: Should we at least do the disclaimer? (Joey covers his head, ready to be hit)  
  
Lila: (jumps up and down) YES!  
  
Seto: Fine. Lila does not own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: Weeeeeeeeee!  
  
Joey: Someone find some decaffe for Lila!  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Everyone sat in the large mall. It was completely empty. All the workers and shoppers must have been sent home before the storm had hit. They all sat around the mall fountain.  
  
"What should we do? We can't get back to the house now because the tunnel has caved in." Bakura said.  
  
"Stop complaining! We're stuck in a mall. We have a whole mall with everything we could possibly need." Joey grinned.  
  
"Let's split up and look around." Tea suggested.  
  
Everyone split up into smaller groups. Joey, Mai and Yami Malik went down the east hall. They came to a pet shop.  
  
"Oh! Puppies!" Mai squealed. She grabbed the boys by the arms. "Let's go inside." She dragged them into the store. There were displays with kittens and cages full of rabbits and birds. Mai ran around petting every animal she could find.  
  
"Isn't it sort of inhumane to just let Mai loose on all of these animals?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
Joey grinned and then walked over to a large cage with a bright colored parrot inside. He stared at Joey with intense eyes. Yami Malik walked up behind him. "I think he likes you." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey said.  
  
"Shut up!" The bird repeated.  
  
"Hey. This bird is pretty cool." Joey said. He leaned up to the bird. "Can you say anything else?"  
  
The bird tilted its head and stared at Joey with empty eyes. "Guess not." Yami Malik said. He then walked up to the bird. "Can you go to hell little birdie?" He asked.  
  
The bird suddenly began to spaz out. It squawked and flapped. Feathers flew every where and Yami Malik jumped back out of fright. "Guess not."  
  
"You really shouldn't talk to the bird like that." Joey said.  
  
"Why not?" He asked.  
  
"They understand you. I imagine that he's pretty mad at you now." Joey explained.  
  
Yami Malik laughed. "It's just a stupid bird."  
  
"Suit yourself." Joey said. He walked off to find Mai.  
  
Yami Malik stood there by himself. "Go to hell." The bird said.  
  
"What was that?" Yami Malik turned to the bird.  
  
"Go to hell." It repeated. "SQUAK!"  
  
Yami Malik. "How dare you insult me. I should turn you into a pillow case!" He shouted.  
  
"Try it. Dumbass! SQUAK!" The bird said.  
  
Yami Malik was starting to get creeped out. "This is some sort of prank. Joey stop doing that and come out from where ever you are hiding." He demanded.  
  
"You are a dumbass. You are a dumbass!" The bird sang.  
  
"Shut up you stupid bird!" He snapped.  
  
"Dumbass! SQUACK!"  
  
"Why you." Yami Malik charged the cage and knocked it over. The door on it opened and the bird flew out of its cage and out of the store. Yami Malik watched the bird fly off and then looked around for Joey. "Where did he go?" Yami Malik walked down the isles looking for him or even Mai. "Joey?"  
  
He suddenly heard some rustling in the back. He walked in the back. "Are you guys in here?" He walked back and heard Mai and Joey arguing.  
  
"But Joey, you look so cute in it." Mai whined.  
  
"No way in hell am I wearing that. Seto will tear me to pieces if he saw me dressed in that." Joey demanded.  
  
"Oh.Pleeeeease?"  
  
Yami Malik walked around the corner to find poor Joey trapped between piles of dog and kitty food. He was fending Mai off with a chew toy he'd found. Mai was holding a.you guessed it. Giant dogs suit that she was trying to convince Joey to wear. Mai turned and saw Yami Malik.  
  
"What do you think Yami Malik? Should Joey wear the doggy outfit?" She asked.  
  
Yami Malik grinned an evil grin. "But of course. It brings out your eyes Joey." He said.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey snapped.  
  
"See Joey. Yami Malik agrees with me." Mai said. She reached out the dog suit to him again but he smacked it away with the toy.  
  
"No way. It was embarrassing enough the last time Duke made me wear one. Why do you think I would volunteer to wear it at my own free will?" Joey said. He attempted to climb over the bags of food but had no luck. Mai moved closer. "If you wear it. I'll do one thing. Anything you want. You name it." She said.  
  
"Anything?" Joey asked. You could see the wheels in the back of his head starting to turn.  
  
At this point, Yami Malik was bent over laughing. "I can't take much more of this. I'm going to find the others. You let me know how it runs out." Yami Malik said. He walked out howling.  
  
Mai turned her attention back to Joey. "Yes. One thing. Anything. But you must wear the costume for at least.hmmm.2 days." She said.  
  
"Two days!" Joey said.  
  
Mai nodded. "Two days and then you can have whatever you want." Mai said.  
  
Joey already had it set in his mind what he wanted. Was it really worth the humiliation though? He growled in frustration and then caved. "Fine." He said. He took the costume and started to put it on. Mai jumped up and down with a huge smile on her face. "Oh this is Great!" She cheered.  
  
"Ya. Just great." Joey said. His voice dripping with sarcasm. He slipped all the way into the costume and looked at Mai with annoyance.  
  
"Now bark like a dog." She ordered.  
  
"What? That wasn't part of the deal!" He demanded.  
  
"If you want ANYTHING from me Wheeler than I want my money's worth." She said.  
  
"Woof. Woof." He said.  
  
He squealed. "Oh that is so cute! No chase your tail." She ordered.  
  
"You're worse than Duke!" He said.  
  
"Do it!" She shouted.  
  
He got down and ran around in circles. This better be worth it. He thought to himself.  
  
"Shit!" Yami Malik shouted and he ran out of the room.  
  
Meanwhile.Yugi and Yami Bakura were walking down the west hall together.  
  
"How do they come up with so many stores?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
Yugi shrugged. Suddenly Yami Bakura's eyes grew wide. "GIRLS!" He screamed and ran off ahead. Yugi was very confused. He walked up to the store he'd seen Yami Bakura run into. He then rolled his eyes. Yami Bakura had found a store that sold books. In particular, he was running up and down the magazine isle. "Yay!" He shouted.  
  
"I'll just leave you alone." Yugi said. He backed up slowly out of the store and kept walking. He didn't like that fact that he was all alone. He studied all of the stores. Nothing in particular caught his eye until he came across a Coffee Shop. "Yum. Coffee." Yugi said. He walked up to the coffee shop and crawled over the counter. He found a bag called instant espresso and tried eating some. "Gross!" He shouted and tossed the bag. The bag landed on the other side of the counter, spilling powder everywhere. He then found a large bag full of chocolate covered coffee beans. He started eating them. "Yum."  
  
"Yugi!" A voice boomed.  
  
"Uh. Oh." Yugi said. He looked up and saw Yami glaring at him over the counter. "What do you think you are doing? You know you aren't allowed to have any caffeine." Yami scolded.  
  
Yugi lowered his head in shame then got an idea. "Here." Yugi said. He held up a handful of the beans.  
  
"Yugi. I've already seen what caffeine can do to you and I don't think it's a good idea that.hey.these are pretty good." Yami said. He ate the chocolate beans and then crawled over the counter to sit next to Yugi. The two sat there eating away at the contents of the bag.  
  
Meanwhile in the Magazine Isle.  
  
"GIRLS!"  
  
Meanwhile in the hallway.  
  
Seto had stretched out on the bench in the hallway and was staring at the ceiling.  
  
"Doesn't that get boring?" Tea asked as she stared at Seto.  
  
"No." He said. "But you do."  
  
Tea became angry. "You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes."  
  
"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." He said.  
  
Tea got even angrier. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you be nice to people huh? Why!"  
  
Seto didn't answer. This enraged her even more. Tea stood up. "You know-" Tea began to say.  
  
Seto held up one had. "If you are going to start up with one of your sad little speeches then I suggest that you shut up right now because like most people. I don't want to hear it." He said.  
  
"You son of a---You piece of---" Tea couldn't finish her thoughts. She also wasn't paying attention to wear she was walking and stumbled backwards into the fountain. Seto looked up with an evil grin.  
  
"Wipe that smirk off of your face and help me out of here!" She shouted. Seto reached down and pulled her out of the fountain but Tea had another idea. She gave him a hard yank and pulled him into the fountain with her. SPLASH!  
  
"You bitch." He said as he came sputtering up from the water. Tea stood up and shook her skirt. Pennies and nickels fell out that had collected at the bottom of the fountain. "I'm freezing." She whined.  
  
"Were in a mall." He said. "Why don't you find a store with some clothes. I'm sure there's a store that has sizes for the tall, slim and bitchy"  
  
She glared at him. "You're coming with me." She said. She grabbed him by the arm a dragged him with her. They began to walk down the hall till they found a store they could both agree on which was almost up and down the hall three times. Just before they went in the store they felt two people rush past them.  
  
"WEEEEEE!" Yami and Yugi shouted.  
  
"Oh man." Tea moaned. "They must have found a coffee shop. I thought Yami would at least have some self control." She then noticed Seto staring at her. "My face is up here you perve!" She snapped.  
  
"Sorry. Natural guy reflex I guess. Come on. We need to find some clothes." He said.  
  
The two walked into the store and began rummaging through the racks. They eventually both found a stack of clothes and went back into the change rooms. Tea walked out in a new dress. "How do I look?" Tea asked.  
  
Seto studied the dress. "Fine I guess." He said.  
  
"Really?" She asked.  
  
"Yes if you like being mistaken for a hooker." He commented.  
  
"Well that outfit makes you look like a nerd." She said.  
  
"It does not." He said.  
  
"It does too!" She yelled. "I'll go get you a pair of thick rim glasses from the DOC down the hall and you'll be all set."  
  
He glared at her and stormed back into the change room. This went on for a while. The changing, the showing, the name calling.  
  
"Whore!"  
  
"Pimp!"  
  
"Granny!"  
  
"Hippie!"  
  
Meanwhile in the magazine isle.  
  
"GIRLS!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile in the Record store.  
  
Duke, Tristan and Bakura were all listening to the CD's in the store.  
  
"This rap music is awesome!" Tristan said.  
  
"Rap sucks!" Duke said.  
  
"You suck!" Tristan shot back.  
  
"Oh, that's really mature Tristan." Bakura said.  
  
"Don't you say a word. I know you're listening to the Back Street Boys!" He shouted.  
  
"I am not!" Bakura said. He then reached into the CD player and switched it with a different CD.  
  
"What's your favorite group?" Bakura asked Duke.  
  
"I like Our Lady Peace." He said.  
  
"Our Lady Peace Sucks!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"You're just saying that because I made fun of your rap music." Duke said.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"What is wrong with you two?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Tristan called Serenity on a pay phone and asked her out behind my back!" Duke half grumbled.  
  
"And she said yes too." Tristan bragged. Duke's fists tightened but he didn't make a move to attack.  
  
"She'll dump your ass when she finds out you listen to rap music! She had more sophisticated taste than that." Duke said.  
  
"Shut up!" Tristan yelled.  
  
Bakura was tired of listening to the two of them and put on a set of headphones, he cranked up the volume. He then turned and saw the two boys had stopped fighting and were staring at him.  
  
"What?" Bakura asked.  
  
"You're singing along to the music." Duke said.  
  
"And it's the Spice Girls." Tristan added.  
  
"No. I um. What? Yami? What's that? Oh I'm coming! Got to go!" Bakura said and he ran out of the store, the boys staring at him. "He really is weird isn't he?" Duke asked. Tristan nodded.  
  
Meanwhile in the magazine isle.  
  
"GIRLS!!!"  
  
Meanwhile in the Arcade.  
  
Malik was busy playing on one of the older arcade machines.  
  
"What game is that?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"It's called Pac Man. What do you like under a rock?" Malik asked.  
  
"Actually I used to live in that stupid Millenium Rod of yours you Jackass." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Oh yeah.sorry."  
  
The two were silent for a while. Yami Malik eventually started criticizing the move Malik was making, "You're going the wrong way. No that's not right. Oh that's just stupid." Yami Malik said.  
  
Malik was getting frustrated. "Do you want to play?" He stepped back from the machine and offered it to him.  
  
Yami Malik shrugged. He steeped forward and started playing. "This is so easy. How can you suck so bad at this game." Yami Malik teased.  
  
Malik just frowned. Suddenly a group of cheesy looking ghosts came onto the screen and started chasing the Pac man.  
  
"What the hell are those?" Yami Malik demanded.  
  
"They're the bad guys. They try to catch you." Malik explained.  
  
"They're too fast. I can't escape!" Yami Malik said.  
  
The ghosts touched the Pac man and it the level restarted. "Stupid ghosts." Yami Malik muttered. He started to play the game again. The ghost quickly reappeared. "They're back again!" He shouted.  
  
"Ya. They tend to do that." Malik shrugged. The ghosts quickly caught the Pac Man. Yami Malik muttered under his breath in frustration.  
  
"Wow. You're worse at this game than I am." Malik teased.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
As hard as he tried he could not escape the ghosts. "Stupid ghosts!" He screamed. He finally ran out of lives and the game shut itself off. "I hate this game!" He shouted. He waved his hands and a dark light engulfed the game.  
  
"Hey! You can't just send the game to the shadow realm because you're bad at it." Malik said.  
  
"Watch me." He hissed. He then sent several more video games to the shadow realm.  
  
"No! Not that one!" Malik shouted at his Yami as he began to send the old Donkey Kong Game through a portal. "That's my favorite one!" Yami Malik only grinned and made the arcade game disappear.  
  
"Stop that! We'll have to replace them for the store." Malik shouted.  
  
"So?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"Do you have 800 dollars to replace each of them?" Malik asked.  
  
"$800! Each?" He waved his hands again and all the games returned. "Who would spend so much money on a game with such crappy graphics?" He asked.  
  
"They aren't crappy. It's a classic game." Malik said.  
  
"A 'crappy' classic game." Yami Malik muttered.  
  
"You're just bitter because you lost." Malik said.  
  
Yami Malik muttered under his breath. The two then felt an intense breeze blow past them.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"Weeeeeee!"  
  
Yami and Yugi blasted down the hall. There eyes were wide open and they dashed up and down the hallways. Neither of them could calm down. The bag of coffee beans had been huge and they had finished the whole bag. They came to a fast stop at the end of one of the halls.  
  
"Whoa." Yugi said as he stared up at the big sign.  
  
"Yugi? What kind of store is this?" Yami asked.  
  
"Only the best store in the whole world!" Yugi said. He grabbed Yami by the arm and dragged him into the large entrance. Yami was amazed by all of the toys and doll. AND GAMES!!!  
  
"This place is great." Yami said. "What is it called again?"  
  
"Toys R' Us." Yugi told him.  
  
End of Chapter 8  
  
Suggestions welcome. Reviews in general are especially welcome. He he. PIXIE STIX!!! 


	9. The Pressure Is Building

Next chapter.Yay! Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I refuse to write this story without a sugar high. It just doesn't work without it.  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Yugi darted into the Toy R' Us with Yami running right behind him.  
  
"Yugi? Where are you going?" Yami asked.  
  
Yugi didn't answer. He ran down several isles in search of something very specific. Yami was no longer chasing him because he'd found something more amusing. "Oh." Yami said. He stared at the box sitting up on the shelf. He pulled it down and opened it up. Inside was a small kiddy trampoline, which Yami pieced together and started jumping on. "Weeeeee!" He shouted. He jumped harder and bounced even higher into the air. He wondered where Yugi was and decided to jump even higher so he could get a better look.  
  
"Yugi?" Yami asked. He then heard a buzzing noise getting closer and closer. "Yugi?" Yami asked. He was starting to get worried. He could now hear Yugi trying to match the buzzing noise with his own voice. He suddenly came around the corner in a tight turn. He was riding in a small battery charged jeep he'd found back with the bikes. Yami had no time to react. He was in mid jump as Yugi's car drove underneath him. While it did resemble a really cool stunt done on TV there was one slight side effect. Yugi had pushed the trampoline out from under his feet in the process. Yami panicked while in the air. He looked like a cat that had just fallen out of a tree.  
  
"Yugi!" He shouted.  
  
Yugi looked back and saw his look-alike in deep trouble. He watched in horror as Yami came crashing down to the ground with a deep thud while hitting his head on several shelves in the process. Yugi back up next to his dazed friend. "Are you okay Yami." Yugi held his sanity for the moment out of fear that Yami was really hurt. Yami sat up. "I'm okay. Thank you for asking talking pink rabbit." Yami said. The blow to his head must have been pretty bad.  
  
"Uh oh." Yugi said. He then felt the sugar start to over take him again. "I'm not a rabbit. I'm a race car." Yugi said. He then pulled away from Yami and drove off into the rest of the store.  
  
"Bye pink rabbit!" Yami waved after him.  
  
Meanwhile in the Magazine Isle.  
  
"GIRLS!" Yami Bakura shouted.  
  
Yami Malik walked into the store and gave a deep sigh. "Bakura. Come on. We all need to find a place to sleep."  
  
"I'm sleeping right here!" Yami Bakura snapped.  
  
"Yami Bakura. I hate to tell you this but.I think you're a pornoholic." Yami Malik told him.  
  
"What? That's ridiculous." Yami Bakura said. "I'm not some freak that's addicted to porn."  
  
"Look at yourself Yami Bakura. You're a mess. You've been in here ever since we got trapped in the mall."  
  
"I like to read." Yami Bakura said. The hugged onto one of the books tightly. "Yami Bakura, you have centerfolds from play boy stuck to your hair. You haven't even had anything to eat." Yami Malik said.  
  
"You're wrong! There's nothing wrong with me!" Yami Bakura shouted.  
  
"Then prove it. Put the books down and walk away." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Fine." Yami Bakura said. He stood up. "I can do this. It's not like the books control me." He sat the book down and started to walk away. He turned and looked back at the pile on the floor. "See. I can do it."  
  
Yami Malik gave him a skeptical look. Yami Bakura felt his face begin to sweat. "I.I." He dove back into the books. "I can't do it!" He cried. He grabbed on of the books and held it up against his face like a tissue.  
  
Yami Malik knelt down next to him. "It's okay. The first step is admitting you have a problem." Yami Malik said.  
  
"What's the second step?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"The second step is beginning to separate yourself from the books." He told him.  
  
"Do they make a patch for that?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"For the love of Ra! It's not like smoking!" Yami Malik shouted. He then saw the hurt in Yami Bakura's eyes. "Well start out slow. First were going to leave this store and find a place to sleep. You can take one book with you and only one. Then slowly we will take the book away for short whiles until you are free of your addiction." He said.  
  
"Thank you." Yami Bakura said. Yami Malik stood up and began to leave and turned around when he realized that he wasn't being followed. "What's wrong?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"I can't decide which one I want."  
  
Yami Malik rolled his eyes.  
  
Meanwhile in the hall.  
  
Joey carefully crept down the hall. He didn't want to be seen by anyone. He was trying to find something to eat and then a place to sleep. So far so good. He tiptoed down the hall carefully, trying not to make any noise. He his behind garbage cans and the fake potted trees he found. He had actually gotten pretty bored. He hadn't seen or heard anyone I the hall so he started to sign the theme song from mission impossible as he went down the hall. He then spotted a place to eat. He was so close. Only another three stores to go and he'd be in. Just three more.  
  
"Well well." A cold voice said. "Who let you out of your cage?"  
  
Joey turned around to see his greatest fear. Seto.  
  
"I knew you were a dog Joey but I didn't think you were so accepting of it." Seto teased.  
  
"Shut up Kaiba!" Joey snapped.  
  
"Oh? And why should I? It's like you're asking me to make fun of you wearing that ridiculous outfit Fido."  
  
"Just leave me alone. I have my reasons for being dressed like this." Joey said. He started to walk over to the store he'd been trying to get to.  
  
"I bet Sparky." Seto grinned.  
  
"Shut up." Joey said.  
  
Seto began to sing (as awkward as you think it would be.) "Who let the dog out?"  
  
"Shut up!" Joey shouted.  
  
"Shut up!" A voice mimicked.  
  
"What was that?" Seto asked.  
  
They looked up and saw the Macaw that Yami Malik had set free earlier, now perched up on a ledge.  
  
"That's the bird from the pet store." Joey said.  
  
"What's it doing out of it's cage?" Seto asked.  
  
"Yami Malik must've set it free." Joey said. He noticed the bird was staring directly at him. "What wrong wit' it?" He asked.  
  
"It looks angry." Seto commented.  
  
"What do you mean it looks angry?" Joey asked.  
  
"Well. Bird like that tends to ruffle it's feathers when they are mad. But a little mutt like you wouldn't understand that." Seto said.  
  
"Stop calling me a dog!" Joey shouted.  
  
"Dog." Seto said.  
  
"Dog." Said the bird.  
  
Seto laughed. "Hey. That bird is pretty smart." Seto said.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey snapped.  
  
"Shut up! SQUAK!" The bird said.  
  
"I'm really starting to hate that bird." Joey said.  
  
"If the bird is angry it must be because you've invaded its territory." Seto told him.  
  
"What? I never did nothin' of the sort. The bird live in the cage." Joey said.  
  
Seto thought for a moment and then grinned. "Where'd you get the suit?" Seto asked.  
  
"I don't know. Mai found it." Joey said.  
  
"Oh. So that's your new form of foreplay?" Seto teased.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey shouted.  
  
"Shut up!" The bird squawked. "You shut up!" Joey yelled at the bird. This seemed to upset the bird as it took off and dived bombed straight at Joey. "AHHHHHH!" Joey shouted. "First the rat and now the frikin' bird! This just isn't fair!" He shouted.  
  
Seto was running with him. "Way to go Wheeler." Seto said.  
  
"Don't blame this on me!" Joey shouted.  
  
The two boys were so busy arguing that they didn't realize that they were coming to an escalator that took them to the basement. Seto did see in time and slammed on his brakes. Joey was less fortunate and tumbled down the escalator at full force. "AHHHHHHH!" He screamed till he hit the ground. This seemed to please to the bird and it took off in the other direction. Seto looked down at the tangled mess at the bottom of the moving staircase. He went down the escalator. "That was very graceful Wheeler." Seto teased again. "Shut up Kaiba. You could have warned me." He said.  
  
"Now where would the fun be in that?" Seto asked. Joey growled at him. Joey had sat up and was leaning on the staircase. "I wouldn't do that Wheeler." Seto warned him.  
  
"Shut up Kaiba." Joey snapped.  
  
"Fine." Seto said. He walked off to find something more amusing to do but not before turning around and watching what happened to Joey. The back of Joey's costume was caught in the escalator and it began eating his costume. "AHHH! Something is attacking me!"  
  
Seto started to laugh.  
  
"Someone help! AHHHH!" Joey shouted. He struggled to get free put the staircase continued to devour his doggy suit. Eventually the force of the machine ripped it off. He now stood in this Sailor Moon print boxers. He covered himself in embarrassment.  
  
By this point Seto was rolling around on the ground laughing hysterically. "Shut up Kaiba!" Joey shouted.  
  
Seto gasped for air between laughing fits. "I.I tried to warn.but you.oh man.you are a stupid dog!"  
  
"Joey!" A voice from the top of the stairs yelled. "Where is your costume!"  
  
"The stairs ate it Mai." Joey protested.  
  
"That's no excuse. You broke your promise." She said.  
  
"But---But it's not fair." Joey whined.  
  
"Too bad." She said and then stormed off.  
  
Joey sat whimpering at the bottom of the stairs. 'It's no fair." He pouted.  
  
Seto suddenly felt tight arms wrap around his waist. "Daddy!" The voice boomed.  
  
"What the hell?" Seto yelled. He turned to see that he was now in the tight embrace of a three thousand-year-old pharos. "Oh dear Ra." He said.  
  
"Daddy! I'm so glad to see you. I was so scared. The pink bunny drove away and I was all alone and ..." Yami whimpered.  
  
Seto turned and saw that despite the fact that Joey was now only in his boxers, he was laughing hysterically at Kaiba.  
  
"Shut up Wheeler." Seto said.  
  
"Daddy said a bad word. That makes baby sad. WHAAAA! Mommy!" Yami cried. He then ran over and lepted at Joey. He wrapped his arms around him. "Mommy, I'm scared."  
  
"Waaaa? This isn't right at all." Joey said.  
  
Seto smirked. "He has his mother's brains." Seto said.  
  
Joey glared. He tried to pry Yami off but all of his struggles were in vain. Yami had a firm grip.  
  
"Mommy. You have no boobies!" Yami said.  
  
Joey felt his face growing hot. "Get off of me you freak!" Joey shouted. Yami stood up.  
  
"The pink bunny is coming!" He cheered.  
  
Joey was very confused by this but then heard the buzzing noise. Yugi came out of nowhere and hurtled the car down the escalator. It was actually quite impressive to watch. Joey stared in horror as the car came closer and closer. He jumped out of the way and was nearly hit. The car came to a halt and Yugi turned to see Joey.  
  
"You're naked." Yugi said.  
  
"Not shit Sherlock." Joey said.  
  
Yugi frowned at this. "I'm not Sherlock. I'm a race car and do you know what race cars do?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Race?" Joey asked.  
  
"Not this race car." Yugi said. "This race car runs over PEOPLE." He gave an evil smile, which made Joey run for it. "Help!" Joey screamed.  
  
"Vroom! Vroom!" Yugi shouted as he chased his friend down the hall. This left Yami and Seto alone. Seto saw the look on Yami's face. "I'm not your daddy." Seto said.  
  
"Yes you are. You're daddy. Daddy! WHAAAAA!" Yami shouted and began to have a fit on the ground.  
  
"Shut up!" You could hear echo from down the hall.  
  
"Okay. Okay. Stop whining!" Seto ordered.  
  
Yami immediately stopped and looked up at Seto.  
  
"Daddy?" Yami asked.  
  
"Whatever." Seto said.  
  
"Yay!" Yami shouted. He grabbed Seto's hand and began bouncing around talking a mile a minute as they headed back towards the fountain. Seto couldn't have said anything if he wanted to. He wasn't even sure if Yami was taking breaths.  
  
The snow just had to melt soon. Seto prayed.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 9 REVIEW PLEASE!!! 


	10. A TWISTED Day

Lila: I would just like to thank all of my loyal reviewers for your comments and suggestions. A writer like me feeds off of reviews. I was thinking of retiring this story and moving on to another but since you all seem to be still into it.I guess a few more chapters couldn't hurt. Thank you so much for encouraging my insanity (even though my shrink thinks otherwise) and I promise to write more Yu-gi-oh humor fiction stories after I'm done torturing them in this one.  
  
Joey: Oh the humanity!  
  
Lila: Stop being so dramatic.  
  
Joey: YOU try not being upset. I've worn a dog suit, an escalator has attacked me and now I'm running around in my underwear trying to escape crazy Yugi in a little car.  
  
Yugi: WEEEEEEEE!  
  
Joey: Oh shit! (Runs away)  
  
Lila: Well.that was.  
  
Bakura: Lila does not own anything related to Yu-gi-oh  
  
Lila: (Starts crying)  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Yami Bakura sat on the edge of a display counter as Yami Malik paced. "So when to we get to the healing?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"Fine. We'll start now. Just hand me that book you're holding." Yami Malik said.  
  
"O.K." Yami Bakura said. He held out the book but just before Yami Malik could touch the edge of the cover Yami Bakura pulled it back. "I.I just can't do it." Yami Bakura cried.  
  
"OK. Ok. We must be taking this too quickly." Yami Malik looked around. "How about this." He ran over to the hall and grabbed a manikin. It was fairly realistic and actually quiet pretty.  
  
"What are you going to do with that?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
Yami Malik sighed. "You give me the book and I'll give you the manikin." He said.  
  
"That just seems weird." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Do you want my help or not?" Yami Malik snapped.  
  
"OK. If you think this will help." Yami Bakura walked over and handed him the book with a pained look on his face. He stared at the manikin. "Hmmm. It's actually kind of cute." He commented. He gently ran his hand up and down the manikin's arm. "Hey. How you doin'?" (Once again.I don't care if it's a spoof!)  
  
Yami Malik was rather disturbed by this and walked out. "I'll just let you two get aquatinted for a while."  
  
Yami Bakura was no longer paying attention to him. "That is one sick puppy." Yami Malik said to himself.  
  
Meanwhile in the hall.  
  
Joey screamed as he tore around the corner. "AHHHHH! Yugi! KNOCK! IT! OFF!" He screamed.  
  
Yugi replied, "Vroom! Vroom!"  
  
"AHHHH!" Joey shouted. He then saw his escape. He ran as hard as he could straight towards the fountain and dove in. He didn't think to put into consideration just how shallow the fountain really was and dove straight into the ground of the fountain.  
  
Yugi came to a halt beside the fountain.  
  
Joey came up out of the water pitting up loose change that people had thrown into the fountain. "That was really funny Yugi." He said in a sarcastic voice. He began to step out when Yugi charged at him with the car.  
  
"Yugi! Stop it!"  
  
Yugi only responded with more car noises. "Someone help me!" Joey shouted.  
  
"He he! You cannot escape me!" Yugi shouted.  
  
He then began to circle around the fountain continuously.  
  
"Help!" Joey screamed.  
  
No one heard Joey though. They were all down at the Toy R' Us. Seto was sitting on a bench with Yami and kept sliding away from him. Yami only continued to slide closer to him with child-like eyes. "Would someone get him away from me?" Seto begged.  
  
"But it's so cute." Tea cooed. "Yami. You're such a good little boy."  
  
Yami gave Tea an evil look. "Daddy? Make crazy witch lady go away." He tugged on Seto's sleeve.  
  
Seto laughed at this. "You're right Tea. He's adorable."  
  
Tea glared back at them and stormed over to a different spot. Probably preparing another one of her speeches.  
  
"What should we do?" Duke asked.  
  
"Can anyone think of a good game to play?" Mai asked.  
  
Bakura's eyes lit up. "I know!" He ran off into one of the isles and came back holding a box.  
  
"Twister?" Seto questioned.  
  
"Sure! It'll be fun." Tristan said.  
  
Seto sat back and folded his arms. "I don't want to play." He growled.  
  
Yami looked at him. "Can I play daddy?" Yami asked.  
  
"Do whatever you want. I'm not your daddy." Seto said.  
  
"OK. Thank you daddy!" Yami said and he ran over to join the others around the board that Bakura had set out. Bakura handed Seto the spinner. "Since you won't play, you can be the official spinner." He said.  
  
Seto gave a curt nod and rest the board on his lap.  
  
"OK. Who goes first?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Rock, Paper, scissors?" Duke asked.  
  
"O My lord no! We'd be here all freaking night!" Mai shouted.  
  
"Like we have a choice." Malik muttered.  
  
"Good point. One, Two Three, Rock!"  
  
"Oh shut up! I'm going first!" Mai snapped.  
  
Seto spun the arrow. "Right foot green." Seto said.  
  
Mai snorted. "Easy." She said and placed her right foot on the board. "Who's next?"  
  
"Me! Me! Me!" Yami shouted. Seto spun, "Left foot green."  
  
Yami placed his foot on the correct space.  
  
Bakura went next. "Right hand yellow."  
  
Bakura moaned. "Why do I always have to get the hand ones?" He whined. He then placed his right hand on one of the yellow spaces.  
  
This continued with Duke, Tristan and then Tea.  
  
Yami was out of the game when the screaming he heard down the hallway suddenly distracted him. "I'm going to find the pink bunny daddy." Yami said as he was leaving the store.  
  
"I'm not you daddy!" Seto shouted.  
  
"Just focus on the game Seto!" Mai snapped.  
  
"Tristan. This game isn't an excuse to feel me up!" Tea shouted.  
  
"Sorry." Tristan said.  
  
"Wait till I tell Serenity." Duke said.  
  
"Shut up!" Tristan snapped. He then hip checked Tristan hard enough that he fell out of the game.  
  
"That's cheating!" Duke said.  
  
"Get over it." He shot back.  
  
"Right hand blue." Seto said.  
  
"Sorry 'bout this Mai." Bakura apologized. He reached between her legs to touch the circle.  
  
Mai squealed. "Bakura!"  
  
"I said I was sorry." Bakura demanded.  
  
"Hurry up Seto. This is starting to hurt." Malik cried.  
  
"Fine. Left foot green Tea." Seto said.  
  
"There is no way in hell I can do that." She said.  
  
"Aren't dancer's supposed to be flexible?" Seto asked.  
  
"I'm a dancer! Not a contortionist!" She snapped.  
  
"Tristan, I'm a good friend of yours but this is just getting too personal." Duke said as he felt his face brushing against Tristan's butt.  
  
"Speaking of friends, I was just think to myself earlier: What is a real friend and I said." Tea started.  
  
"Oh god she's at it again. I give!" Tristan said. He dropped down and rolled out of the game. "Me too." Duke said.  
  
Everyone dove out of the game to escape. "Does that mean I've won?" Tea asked.  
  
"Fine. Just stop talking!" Duke begged.  
  
This angered Tea. "Well, you obviously don't know that it's like to be a true friend. Why I-"  
  
"Shut up!" Bakura shouted.  
  
Everyone looked at him in shock.  
  
"What?" Bakura asked. "I can swear and shout."  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Yami Malik walked back to the store where he'd left Yami Bakura in. "What the hell?" He shouted. He looked at Yami Bakura who was now cuddles up with the manikin on the floor under some covers. "What did you do?" He looked at Yami Bakura.  
  
Yami Bakura smiled. "Thank you so much for introducing me to Ally." He said.  
  
"Ally?" He asked.  
  
"Ally." He said and pointed to the manikin. "My fiancée."  
  
"WHAT!?" He shouted at Yami Bakura.  
  
"That's right. We're getting married." He said.  
  
"Okay. Let me make sure I heard you right. You are going to marry a manikin?" He asked.  
  
Yami Bakura covered the ears of the doll and shushed Yami Malik. "Don't call he names like that. She's sensitive."  
  
"Ya. To open flames. It's a giant plastic doll Yami Bakura." Yami Malik said.  
  
"You don't know her the way I do!" Yami Bakura shouted.  
  
"And hopefully I never will." he shuddered.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Yami Malik looked at his friend. He knew there was only one solution. He ran down the hall and got the others. First he explained the situation to them which they found equally disturbing. They all headed back to the store. Yami Bakura and the manikin were now dressed and was gently embracing the doll.  
  
"You're right. This is sad." Seto said.  
  
They all walked over to him.  
  
"Yami Bakura. We need to talk." Bakura said.  
  
Yami Bakura smiled at him. "Yes we do. Would you like to be my best man at the wedding?" He asked.  
  
"What? Really? Well Yami Bakura I'm flattered but.you're getting off topic!" He shouted.  
  
"Yami Bakura. I've got another magazine for you." Mai waved the magazine at him.  
  
"I don't need those anymore." He said. "I've got all the girl I need right here." He hugged the doll. Yami Malik was really hating himself for leaving him with the doll.  
  
"But Bakura." Mai started to say.  
  
"I said I don't want it!" He snapped.  
  
"It's the all access special addition." She tempted him as she read the title on the magazine.  
  
"Really. Give it to me!" He shouted. He dove at the magazine and started flipping through it. "Wait a second! This is just a People's magazine with the cover replaced on it!" He shouted.  
  
"Now!" Yami Malik said.  
  
Everyone dove at the manikin. "No!" Yami Bakura shouted.  
  
Everyone got a hold of a different piece of the doll and took off out of the store with it.  
  
"Stop! Come back with my fiancée!" He shouted.  
  
"This is for your own good!" Duke shouted back behind him as they ran down the hall.  
  
"Where are you going with her?" He shouted. "Come back!"  
  
They all took off and ran to the bottom level of the mall. Seto slid down the railing of the staircase and Duke ran down the escalator. They all eventually met at the bottom and headed down the hallway. Yami Bakura was running right behind them screaming. "Stop!" He eventually caught Malik by the shirt and yanked him back. "Gotcha. Give me back her arm!"  
  
Malik threw the fake arm to Bakura. "Run! Don't worry about me." Malik said. Bakura ran in behind the others. They had reached the boiler room.  
  
"Rest in Peace!" Yami Malik said as they all tossed the pieces of the doll into the blazing inferno. The smell of burning plastic and faux pa hair filled the room and they all ran out.  
  
"No!" Yami Bakura screamed as he ran to the furnace but it was to late. He began sobbing next to the door. Yami Malik came and put his hand on Yami Bakura's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."  
  
"She was so beautiful. I loved her!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Don't worry. Were gonna get you the best help we can find." Tea assured him.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
"Would somebody help me? I'm freezing in this fountain!"  
  
"WEEEEEE!"  
  
END OF CHAPTER 10  
  
Let's hear what you think. Reviews Please! 


	11. Indoor Camping

Lila: WEEE! Look at all the reviews!  
  
Joey: (glares at reviewers) You people realize that you are only provoking her don't you?  
  
Lila: Oh please! I just want to that all of my reviewers again (I've received some very interesting reviews). Golden Dragon of Egypt, thank you for offering to go hunting for Yugi but he has been located and is in sugar rehab right now.  
  
Yugi: SUGAR!!!!  
  
Lila: (rolls eyes) I'm so glad that all of you like my humor fics so much (starts tearing up). I'm not a writer who normally likes writing a character outside of their personalities. It usually just ruins the character. I've tried my best just to REALLY 'over-exaggerate' specific qualities about the characters to their maximum limits. (Sorry buts to write humor sometimes you have to bend the reality of the characters) (I've been informed especially of Yami Bakura's (cough) slight obsession.  
  
Yami Bakura: (grumbles)  
  
Lila: You do have to admit that he does obsess on the show (specifically over the Millenium Items). I just switched his focus onto women (realizes that's probably stretching it).  
  
Joey: You're just cruel.  
  
Lila: And to answer your question GDOE I have been paying attention to the Japanese version of the show. Mind you I've never seen an actual episode (as much as I'd like to) but I've got the main gist of how it goes.  
  
Reviewers: Where is Mokuba?  
  
Lila: (looks around for Mokuba) oops! I realized about the third or fourth chapter in that I'd forgot the adorable little Mokuba but by that time it would have been too awkward to fit him in. Let's say he was stranded at his public school.  
  
Mokuba: Not fair! (Pouts)  
  
Lila: And besides. This story isn't very appropriate for you anyway Mokuba.  
  
Mokuba: (grumbles)  
  
Yugi: Lila doesn't own anything related to Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: You don't have to rub it in. (pouts)  
  
Yugi: SUGAR!!!!  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Yami Bakura had a funeral for his 'dearly departed' and at the same time everyone agreed to put Yami Bakura into therapy once they got out of the mall.  
  
Everyone had now found a place to sleep. There was a Rustic Store down one hall which had a camping display set up with enough tents, hammocks and sleeping bags for all of them. They all sat around the fire (which was just some plastic logs with a red light bulb flickering in the middle of it.)  
  
"This is pathetic." Seto commented.  
  
"This is the best we can do." Duke snapped at Seto.  
  
"It's still pathetic." He said.  
  
"Why don't you find a different place to sleep then?" Tristan asked.  
  
"I would but the 'Mattress King' store is locked up tight and I have nothing to break it open with." Seto said.  
  
"Then stop whining!" Tristan said.  
  
Seto leaned back against one of the artificial stumps that had been put into place. "What should we do now?" He asked.  
  
"Let's roast marshmallows!" Tea said.  
  
"It's a light bulb Tea. Not a real fire." Seto said to her.  
  
She simply glared at him and relaxed against the side of one of the tents. She peeked inside to see Yami fast asleep. "Do you think he'll be okay when he wakes up?" Tea asked.  
  
"Well, Seto was better after he'd had some sleep." Tristan gave him a sly grin.  
  
"Shut up." Seto snapped.  
  
"Fine. Mommy's boy." Tristan said.  
  
"Did anyone else find it creepy how Seto and Yami have now both called each other Mommy?" Bakura asked.  
  
Everyone started snickering. "Shut up." Seto snapped again.  
  
They all sat in silence for a while. "Hey. Has anyone seen Joey or Yugi?" Tristan asked.  
  
In The Hall..  
  
Yugi was still circling Joey on his small racecar but the batteries in both Yugi and the racecar were starting to die. Soon Yugi was slumped over the racecar fast asleep. Joey let out a sigh. He crawled out of the fountain and walked over to one of the clothing stores. He found a decent change of clothes. Actually he thought he hadn't looked better. He then walked back out and picked up his small friend out of the racecar and carried him down the hall looking for the others.  
  
He finally located the store and walked in. He put Yugi into the tent with Yami then came and sat next to Mai.  
  
"Where have you been?" Mai asked.  
  
"It's a long story." Joey said.  
  
"He was chased around in his underwear by Yugi in a racecar." Seto said.  
  
"Thank you Seto. Thank you for making me look like a total moron." Joey said.  
  
"Oh. You poor thing." Mai cooed. She brushed her hair against his forehead. "Oh my! You're burning up."  
  
"That's probably from sitting in the fountain for the last hour or so." Joey said. He let out a sneeze.  
  
"Aww. Dog has a cold." Seto teased.  
  
"I'm not sick. And I'm not.Ahhh.Ahhh.A dog! Chu!" Joey said.  
  
Mai gave him a worried look. "Come on and get into bed. I'll make sure you get better."  
  
Joey's eyes lit up and he took off for the tent. Mai slowly followed.  
  
Everyone stared at each other. "So what should we do now?" Tea asked.  
  
"I know." Duke smiled. He grabbed a flashlight from behind him and turned it on. He then flashed it under his face creating a ghostly glow to him. "Let's tell ghosts stories."  
  
"Oh sounds like fun!" Yami Bakura grinned. He loved giving people a good scare.  
  
"Sounds stupid." Seto said.  
  
"I'll go first." Yami Bakura said. He took the flashlight from Duke and held it to his face. "One day.not too long ago there was an old woman sitting in her living room putting together a puzzle. She put it together.pieces by piece. Slowly the puzzle started to take shape. The yellows and the blues began to take shape. It showed the picture of a room. It was her own living room. And as she began putting the last few pieces together, she saw her own face appear in the puzzle. And as she placed the very last piece of the puzzle, it showed a man lurking right behind her!"  
  
Bakura and Tea let out a great scream.  
  
Duke laughed. "That was really good."  
  
"Thank you." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"That was pathetic." Seto said.  
  
"You think you can do better?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"Without even trying." Seto said.  
  
"Very well then." Yami Bakura said. He handed the flashlight to Seto. "Let's see what you can to."  
  
"Very well." He turned the flashlight on himself.  
  
He began to tell his story. "And that is why all Anime shows will be turned into Kiddy cartoons."  
  
"NOOOOOO!" They all screamed.  
  
"He's good." Tristan muttered.  
  
They all sat for a while. "Is anyone else hungry?" Tea asked.  
  
"A little actually." Duke said.  
  
"Is there anything to eat in this place?" Bakura asked.  
  
Tea hopped up and found some bags of food. "All we need now is one of those little barbecues." She said.  
  
"You mean the one on that really high shelf over there?" Duke asked.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Whose gonna get it?"  
  
"1,2,3, not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Not it!"  
  
"Oh shit!" Bakura said. "Why am I always the last one?" He stood up and walked over to the shelf. He looked up at the towering shelves with wide eyes. He looked for a ladder but there were none. He then realized he's just have to climb up the shelf by hand. He began to climb up the shelf without any difficulty. He slipped once but eventually reached the top. He then threw the barbecue down the Seto who was waiting to catch it. He then sat there for a moment.  
  
"What's the matter?" Seto asked.  
  
"Well, umm.you see I."  
  
"He's afraid of heights." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Precisely." Bakura said. "I don't think I can crawl back down."  
  
"Then jump." Seto said.  
  
"Are you out of your bloody mind? I'll kill myself." He said.  
  
"Don't worry. I'll pile these sleeping bags down here to cushion your fall." Seto said. He then lined the floor with the bags.  
  
"I can't do it." Bakura said.  
  
"Stop being such a wuss." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"I'm not a wuss." Bakura said.  
  
"Yes you are." He said.  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
By this point he'd leaned to far over to scream at Yami Bakura and started to sway off of the shelf.  
  
"WHOA!" He shouted as he tumbled off of the shelf into the pile of sleeping bags.  
  
"See. You're fine." Seto said.  
  
Bakura sat up from the pile. "That was actually quite fun. Let's do it again!"  
  
So everyone continued to climb up the shelves and fall into the pile of sleeping bags while Tristan cooked the food. "Joey thinks he'd such a great chef. He's nothing compared to me."  
  
Yami Malik came over and looked at the barbecue. "What are those." He said and pointed at the things roasting on the top right corner of the barbecue.  
  
"They're called 'pigs in a blanket'." Tristan said.  
  
"Where on earth do you get pigs that small?" He asked.  
  
Tristan rolled his eyes. "They aren't actual pig! There's hotdogs wrapped in batter." He explained.  
  
"Then why do they call then pigs in a blanket?" He asked.  
  
"That's what they look like!"  
  
"They don't look like pigs."  
  
"That's just what they're called!" Tristan shouted in frustration.  
  
"What are hotdogs then?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
Tristan shuddered. "You really don't want to know." he said.  
  
Everyone then joined around the barbecue and got samples or the 'pigs in a blanket', smores and pre-made grilled cheeses.  
  
"It taste really good when you mix the 'pigs in a blankets' with the grilled cheeses." Duke commented.  
  
"It's even better when you mix them with the smores." Tristan said.  
  
"That's disgusting!" Tea wrinkled her nose at him.  
  
"Actually it's really good." Malik said as he sneaked a bite of Tristan's creation.  
  
"Make your own!" Tristan shouted at him.  
  
"You guys are disgusting. I'm going to bed." Tea said. She then walked back and crawled into the tent. Everyone was either sharing a tent or in one of the hammocks. Tristan was sharing a tent with Duke. There hadn't been enough sleeping blankets so they were sharing a huge afghan. "Stop hogging the blanket!" Duke snapped.  
  
"Me? You're the one that's all wrapped up in it!" Tristan said.  
  
"You keep pulling!" Duke said.  
  
"Oh shut up and stop whining!" He snapped.  
  
The boys continued to pull on the blanket and call each other names. "Dice Freak!"  
  
"At least it doesn't look like my hair has a hard-on!" Duke shouted. (Okay.getting a little inappropriate)  
  
The boys suddenly became silent when they heard growling outside the tent.  
  
"Oh my god! There's a bear outside of the tent!" Tristan whispered.  
  
The growls became louder and fiercer. "It's coming to get us." Duke whispered back. The great growling figure suddenly lunged at the tent and began clawing at the side of it. The boys jumped up out from under the blanket squealing like a pair of sophomore girls at a pop concert. They attempted to open the tent.  
  
"Hurry! It's going to break through!" Duke shouted.  
  
"I can't! The zipper is stuck!" Tristan yelled. The boys then ripped through the door of the tent and ran away from the camping display.  
  
"Wait a minute! Why would a bear be inside of a store?" Duke asked.  
  
The boys then walked over behind the tent and found Seto and Bakura on the ground rolling around and laughing.  
  
"Very funny." Tristan said in a sarcastic manner. They threw some of the left over 'pigs in a blanket' at Seto and Bakura then stormed back into the tent.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 11  
  
Yay! Another chapter completed. Please review. Oh and if someone could tell me how I can make my italics and bolding noticeable on this page I'd appreciate it. The stupid thing just keeps reverting all of my type back to normal. EVEN MY SPACING! GRRRR  
  
Yami Malik: Review this story or I'll send you all to the shadow realm.  
  
Lila: Yami Malik  
  
Yami Malik: (sighs) Please. 


	12. HmmmThey really must be running out of t...

Lila: Yay! More reviews. (Jumps up and down)  
  
Joey: Why are you people doing this to me?  
  
Lila: You really are over dramatic.  
  
Joey: (grumbles)  
  
Lila: Oh. And yes I did put Bakura and Seto pulling the bear prank on purpose. Come on, Bakura deserves to have a little fun once in a while too.  
  
Bakura: Thank you Lila.  
  
Joey: Why don't you ever do that sort of this for me?  
  
Lila: I've already got Mai fussing over you in the tent don't I?  
  
Joey: (opens mouth to argue then closes it)  
  
Lila: Now be a good boy and do the disclaimer.  
  
Joey: (grumbles) Lila does not own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: (coughs)  
  
Joey: (sigh) Yet.  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Duke woke up and stumbled out of the store. He was going to check on the snow. He opened the door and was greeted with a pleasant avalanche of snow. "Fantastic." He muttered as he crawled out of the pile of snow. He brushed himself off as best as he could and walked back to the store.  
  
"I take it from the snow in your hair that we still aren't getting out of here." Seto said. He was busying himself with the barbecue that wouldn't light.  
  
"It has to melt soon." Duke reassured him.  
  
Yami then crawled out of the tent. He saw Seto and lowered his eyes to the floor. "Morning." He said.  
  
"Morning." Seto said abruptly keeping his eyes also on the floor.  
  
"Well," Duke said. "This isn't the least bit awkward." No one responded so Duke went back into the tent to find his shoes.  
  
Yami and Seto stood alone in the middle of the fake campsite. "So." Yami said.  
  
"So.." Seto replied.  
  
"No body has to know what happened right?" Yami asked.  
  
"What happened." Seto said.  
  
"Exactly." Yami said.  
  
Seto then went back to focusing on the barbecue. "What is wrong with this infernal thing?" He asked.  
  
"What are you trying to do?" Yami asked.  
  
"I'm trying to get this damn thing to light." Seto said.  
  
"Here. Let me see." Yami walked over and investigated the barbecue. "Maybe you should turn on the gas." Yami said. He adjusted the nozzle on the small barbecue then stepped back. Seto struck another match and held it to the coals. What he didn't know was that Yami had put the gas on full. The match ignited like nothing else. It created a giant fiery explosion that inevitably caught to Seto's hair and clothes.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Seto screamed. He ran around the campsite.  
  
"Stop, drop and roll Kaiba!" Yami shouted.  
  
Seto followed the orders and rolled around on the ground desperately. "It's only spreading!" He shouted. Yami became very worried and found a collection of Disani water bottles and threw onto his friend. This helped to put out the fire. Seto laid on the ground and sighed with relief. "Thank you." He said.  
  
"No problem." Yami said.  
  
Seto reached up and touched his hair. "Oh shit!" He said. "My hair is a mess!"  
  
Yami helped him up. "Don't worry about it. At least you're okay."  
  
"I don't need to give Wheeler a chance to make fun of me." Seto explained.  
  
"Well, there is a hair salon down the hall." Yami said.  
  
"No way in HELL am I letting you touch my hair. I mean, look at yours!" He said.  
  
"What's wrong with my hair?" Yami asked.  
  
"It's just so.weird." He said.  
  
Yami glared at him. "My hair is looking a lot better than yours right now." Yami snapped. "How about I get Mai to do it. She's fairly knowledge when it comes to cosmology." He said.  
  
"Cosmo-what?" He asked.  
  
"Never mind." Yami said. "Mai, we have a hair crisis out here!" Yami yelled.  
  
Mai popped her head out of the tent. "What was that Yami? OH MY GOD!" She shouted. She ran over to Seto and touched his hair gently. "You poor baby!" She cooed.  
  
Joey popped his head of the tent Mai had came from. "What about me?" He asked.  
  
"I'll deal with you later. I have a tragedy to deal with right now!" She said. She led Seto out of the store and down to the salon.  
  
"That's my woman!" Joey yelled after them. He then glared at Yami. "Thanks a lot you old goon! I was this close to getting Mai!" He then shut the tent roughly and closed himself back inside.  
  
"What? Joey, it isn't my fault!" Yami demanded.  
  
"What isn't your fault?" Bakura asked as he woke up from his hammock.  
  
"Nothing." Yami said.  
  
"What should we do with today?" Yami asked  
  
"Let's go break stuff!" Yami Bakura said excitedly.  
  
"That doesn't sound like a good idea." Bakura said.  
  
"Oh, Bakura, you always have to do what's right and proper. You're such a stiff!" his Yami said.  
  
"I am not!" Bakura protested.  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Are not!"  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Shut up or you're both being sent to the shadow realm!" Yami yelled with great force.  
  
The boys shut right up. "Stupid old pharos." Yami Bakura muttered.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing." Yami Bakura said. He then turned his attention back to his other half. "If you say you're not a stiff then prove it too me!" He said.  
  
"Very well." Bakura said. "Follow me." He stood up triumphantly and walked down the hall. Yami Bakura rolled his eyes and followed him. They reached a hallway that branched off from the larger one. It was relatively thin but there were several doors along the wall.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"Watch." Bakura said. He proudly walked over into one of the doors and Yami Bakura stared at it with confusion. "What does that prove?" He asked.  
  
"I'm in the girls bathroom." Bakura said through the door. "That's something a stiff wouldn't do."  
  
Yami Bakura rolled his eyes. "That's pathetic. You're just a stiff!" He then thought about it for a minute. "I want to see!" He shouted and ran in the door.  
  
He stared around the room. It was very similar to the men's washroom only the walls were a puckish pink color and.it was clean. It was actually completely different from the men's washrooms. "Hey! They have a couch in here!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Yes they do and a nice one at that." Bakura commented.  
  
"Why don't we get a couch?" Yami Bakura pouted.  
  
"Would you really want to sit on a couch in the middle of the men's washroom?"  
  
"Good point."  
  
They continued to examine the bathroom. They were fascinated with all of the little soaps and fragrant leafy bits in a basket in the corner. "What on earth is that?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"I think it's called Popery or something." He answered.  
  
"It looks like fancy mulch." Yami Bakura snickers. He then noticed something else. "What is that thing?"  
  
He was pointing to a large metal box that was attached to the wall. It said: 25 cents on the side and there was a small opening at the bottom along with a little crank.  
  
"I don't have a clue." Bakura said.  
  
"Should we put twenty five cent's in?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"I don't see why not." Bakura said. He pulled the money out of his pocket and placed it into the machine. He then turned the crank and a small stick thing fell out of the bottom. "What the hell is that?" Yami Bakura asked. Bakura lifted up the stick that was encased in the plastic wrapper. "I still don't know."  
  
"Hey look, I put twenty five into this one and out came this other package." Yami Bakura said. He held up the slightly flatter and more cushioned package. Bakura opened the packaging around it and examined the stick. "Why would girls need these?" Yami Bakura asked. Bakura pushed on the end of the stick and a cotton ball on a string popped out of the one end. "That thing looks too complicated." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Well, what inside of yours?" Bakura asked. Yami Bakura opened the package. "It looks like a little baby diaper." Bakura comment. Yami Bakura fiddles with it for a minute. "Hey, there's a sticky backing on this thing." He stuck it in Bakura's hair.  
  
"Very funny." Bakura said. He pulled at the thing now stuck in his hair. "I won't come out." He whined.  
  
"Here, let me." He said. He gave it a tug.  
  
"Ouch! You're pulling out my hair!" Bakura shouted at Yami Bakura.  
  
"Stop whining!" Yami Bakura said. He got the mystery item out of Bakura's hair. "Why in Ra's name would a girl want these things?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"Because every month we get periods and we use those tampons and pads as leakage protection." A voice said from the bathroom entrance.  
  
"Tea!" The boys shouted.  
  
"What the hell are you two doing in here?" She demanded.  
  
"We were just leaving." Bakura said. Yami Bakura nodded and followed right behind him and out of the door. Before they could get out the door she coughed. "Are you guys really going to be needing those?" She asked.  
  
They realized they were both still holding the feminine hygiene products, screamed and tossed them at her while running out the door.  
  
Meanwhile in the Salon.  
  
"Hold still Kaiba!" Mai hissed as she tried to hold his head into place. "You're only going to make this worse."  
  
"I can't believe I'm trusting you with my hair." He muttered.  
  
"I'll let you know that I went to Beauty School Camp all of the time when I was little. I'm practically a professional. I've never had a complaint."  
  
"Really?" Seto asked. She nodded.  
  
"Yep. All of my Barbie's loved their new hairdos." She said.  
  
Seto gave a slight shudder. This wasn't looking good for him. "Just fix up the ends okay?"  
  
"What ever you say." She smiled and began clipping away. Seto watched her work through the mirror. She was actually doing a really good job until.  
  
"Hey Mai!" The think Brooklyn accent echoed through the small salon causing Mai to jump.  
  
"Careful Mai!" Seto snapped.  
  
"Sorry Seto." She said. She then turned to the boy leaning in the doorway. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed!"  
  
"I'm feeling great now!" Joey said. "And it's all thanks to your great care giving." He smiled.  
  
She gave him a smile but then reverted back to the original annoyed look. "Thank you Joey but if you don't mind I'm a little bury." She said.  
  
"Aww. Come on! He looks fine." Joey said.  
  
If you could see Seto right now he's currently sporting half of his shaggy singed hair and half of a new cut that Mai had been working on. Kind of resembling Shaggy if he's been beaten to death.  
  
"I have to finish this." She demanded. Joey made a whining noise, which irritated Mai even more. "Tell you what Joey. You go sit back there by that sink and I'll give you a water massage for your hair."  
  
"Okay!" He cheered. He ran back to the to the sink. Mai gave Seto a wink before walking back to the sink. She walked back and started running the water. "Now lean back." She said. She then used shampoo and conditioner in his hair and massaged it into his hair.  
  
"That feels great!" Joey said.  
  
This continued for a few minutes and then she sat him up. She then put another lotion into his hair.  
  
"What is this?" He asked.  
  
"It's a special conditioner. It will rejuvenate the roots of your hair. It just needs to be left in for a while." She explained.  
  
"Oh. Okay." He said. She finished putting the lotion in and then wrapped his hair in a towel. "Now sit here while I finish up with Seto." She ordered. Joey nodded and she went and finished Seto's haircut. Ten minutes later she was done with him.  
  
"Not bad." Seto said as he examined his new haircut. "Thank Mai." He said.  
  
"You're welcome. Now to finish with Joey." She said. She walked back and unraveled his hair. Seto's jaw dropped.  
  
"That good huh Kaiba?" Joey sneered.  
  
"Uh. Yeah. Excuse me." He said and ran out of the salon.  
  
"He really hate being showed up. Don't he?" Joey said.  
  
"Your hair is definitely far more electric than his." She said.  
  
"Really? Let me see!" He said.  
  
She handed him a small mirror and Joey screamed. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"  
  
"What? It looks great." She said.  
  
"IT"S BLUE!" He shouted.  
  
"It's cyan you dolt and it looks great." She said.  
  
"I look like Papa Smurf!" He shouted as he touched the top of his head. "You did this on purpose!"  
  
"You interrupted so rudely. You needed to be taught a lesson. Don't worry. It'll wash out." She reassured him.  
  
"Good." He said.  
  
"In about two months." She commented just as she ran out the door.  
  
"Two months! Mai! If I get my hands on you I'm going to kill you!" He screamed.  
  
He chased after Mai and past Seto on the way, who was doubled over laughing just outside in the hallway.  
  
Meanwhile in the school.  
  
"Hello.Is anyone there?" Mokuba said.  
  
"I'm so lonely!"  
  
END OF CHAPTER 12  
  
Yay! Had to end it there. The sugar was starting to wear off. Please review. Also, I'm fearing I'll have to bring this story to an end soon (as much as I don't want to) I mean it can't go on forever (thinks about it for a minute) NO! It can't. Sorry. But if you have any suggestions of what mess I should put the Yu-gi-oh characters in next I'd love to hear it. And you're comments on this story. I'm not saying I'm going to end it right now. I still have MANY things to do to these people.  
  
Joey: NOOOOOOO! 


	13. It's not easy being BLUE

Lila: I'm so glad you people love this story so much. I never thought this story would go over so well. It also makes me feel good that so many people think on the weird and sometimes just down right creepy level that I do.  
  
Joey: You mean there are more people out there like you?  
  
Seto: Yep. That's what she's saying.  
  
Joey: NO!  
  
Yugi: Stop being such a drama queen.  
  
Joey: You're the only QUEEN around here!  
  
Lila: Boys! Boys! Let's save the fighting for the story okay?  
  
All: Yes mam.  
  
Lila: Someone please to the disclaimer.  
  
Yami: Lila does not own anything involved with Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: (sighs)  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Everyone had fallen asleep again after a long day of fighting and being at each other's throats. The boys had all huddles inside a giant family size tent (since the other one had been destroyed when Joey had attempted to murder Mai for what she did to his hair). It was rather crowded but they all fit. The night went on with the occasional argument about hogging covers and too loud of snoring. Eventually morning came.  
  
Bakura sat up and yawned. He was feeling a little cramped so he slipped out of the tent. Soon, other boys began to follow him out. Eventually, the only thing that was left was Seto and Yami. Unfortunately, they were (cough) in a rather intimate position.  
  
Yami's eye's fluttered open. They widened in absolute fear when he realized the he and Seto were arm locked in an intense embrace. "Sweet Ra!" He shouted.  
  
This caused Seto to stir. He then woke up and stared at the position. "Oh gross!" He shouted. The boys pulled away from one another in absolute disgust. "I can't believe it."  
  
"Eww. Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross!" Yami said as he brushed off the imaginary Kaiba cooties.  
  
"This never happened." Seto demanded.  
  
"What happened?" Yami declared.  
  
"Exactly, because nothing happened." Seto said.  
  
The boys sat at opposite ends of the tent for a few moments. "You know.I'm feeling rather refreshed." Yami said.  
  
"What?" Seto said.  
  
"Nothing." Yami said.  
  
They sat for a few more moments.  
  
"That was the best sleep I've had in a long time." Seto said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
They stared at each other as if they were afraid the other one was going to explode.  
  
The boys were starting to feel really awkward. They both made a move for the tent exit and their hands brushed. They pulled away like they had been burned.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"NO you go!"  
  
They both made a move for the door and their hands brushed again.  
  
"Oh for the love of Ra! GET OUT!" Yami yelled.  
  
Seto bolted from the tent.  
  
"Did you love-birds have a good sleep?" Duke asked,  
  
"You saw that?" Seto asked.  
  
"We all did." Bakura snickered. "And we took pictures."  
  
The boys howled as they held up the Polaroid copies of the pair of them in the tent.  
  
"Give those to me!" Seto shouted. He made a move for the photos and missed. Bakura tossed them to Tristan who continued to toss them around the group. Seto couldn't get them. They were eventually tossed to Joey. "What's the matter Kaiba. Worried you're little lovefest with Yami might get known around school?"  
  
Seto glared. "Give them up you Smurf!" He snapped.  
  
Joey glared. "Make me!" He shouted. Seto dove at Joey who side stepped out of the way. He unfortunately tackled Yami whom was just getting out of the tent.  
  
"Get off of me!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Just can't keep your hands off of him can ya Kaiba?" Joey snickered.  
  
Yami glared as he got up from the floor. "Watch what you say Joey." He warned.  
  
"Oh. I'm really scared." Joey taunted.  
  
"Fine. You asked for it." Yami said. He waved his arms and an intense light surrounded Joey. When the light dimmed Joey was completely blue.  
  
"Hey! What the hell!" Joey shouted.  
  
"Now you really do look like a Smurf!" Duke laughed.  
  
"Yoink!" Seto said as he removed the pictures from Joey's hands. "I'll keep a good hold on these."  
  
"Not cool Yami." Joey said.  
  
"You should know not to piss of an ancient Pharos when he just waked up." Yami Bakura scolded Joey.  
  
"Ya. Well you should know better than to hook up with a my size Barbie from one of the display windows." Joey snapped.  
  
"I'll give you purple spots to match you're blue skin Joey." Yami Bakura warned him  
  
"I think he's suffered enough for now." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Since when did you become so merciful?" Yami Bakura asked.  
  
"Mai has been forcing me to read there 'inner you' books from the store down the hall. They're actually pretty good." He said.  
  
"Oh man. Is everyone going nuts?" Tristan asked.  
  
"It's important to be open an vulnerable to others." Yami Malik said.  
  
"I you don't stop being so open and vulnerable, I'm gonna hit you where you're open and vulnerable." Joey snapped.  
  
"Shut up Papa Smurf!" Yami Malik said.  
  
"I'm blue! I'm friggen blue! I look like one of those guys off of the Pentium Chip commercials." He cried.  
  
"Relax. Salt crystals will take it off of your skin. I can't help your hair though." Yami said.  
  
Joey was relieved. "Where do I get salt crystals?" He asked.  
  
Mai shot her head out from around the corner. "I know the perfect shop!" She said as she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down to the shop. They reached the shop and when they walked in a wall of a million different perfumes immediately hit Joey.  
  
"I think I'm gonna gag." He said. Mai wasn't listening. He was looking for the bath salts. She came back with three bags. "I found Green Tea, Peaches and Cream and Honey Due Lemon." She said.  
  
"Am I supposed to use them all?" He asked.  
  
"No stupid. Pick one!"  
  
"They all smell funny."  
  
"They're scented."  
  
"They stink."  
  
"Shut up and pick one!"  
  
He examined the bags for a while. He assumed that the green tea might just make things worse and the Honey Due Lemon reminded him too much of the toilet cleaner he had to use when he was on janitorial duty. He took the second bag and opened it. He then proceeded to run the crystals on himself.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked.  
  
"Using the crystals." He said.  
  
"You don't use them like that." She said.  
  
"How then?"  
  
"YOU put them in a bath." She explained.  
  
"I don't do baths." He said.  
  
"Nonsense. You'll be fine."  
  
"I hate baths." He demanded.  
  
"You're taking a bath." She demanded.  
  
"You can't make me." He shouted.  
  
"Watch me." She tackled him to the ground and got him in a firm headlock.  
  
"No!" He screamed.  
  
"You're gonna take a bath and you're gonna like it!" She shouted.  
  
"NO!" He screamed again. She dragged him down the hall by his ankles. He kicked and screamed as she dragged him down. She got to the proper store and tied him down while she busied herself filling the tub. She came back. "Get in." She ordered.  
  
"No!" He shouted.  
  
"Get in!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"If you get in. I'll give you this rubber ducky." She squeaked the toy in his face.  
  
He thought about it. "No."  
  
"Please." She begged.  
  
"No!"  
  
She was getting irritated. "Do you want to be blue forever?"  
  
"Does it mean I don't have to take a bath?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then yes. I'll be blue forever. I'll get used to it. I'll start a trend."  
  
"Of blue people?"  
  
"Yep. It'll be great!" He said.  
  
She sighed. "You leave me no choice."  
  
LATER.  
  
Joey walked down the hallway and found Duke.  
  
"Hey! You're not blue anymore!" Duke commented. "How'd you do that?"  
  
"I didn't. Mai violated me!" He said.  
  
"I did not!" She demanded. "I just used 'force'."  
  
"You grabbed me!" He shouted.  
  
"It made you move didn't it?" She demanded.  
  
"You hurt my little buddy." He said.  
  
"You call it you're little buddy?" Duke asked.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey snapped. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to have kids now!"  
  
"OH stop being such a baby." Mai said.  
  
"Fine. I'll grab you by the boobs and drag you around and see how you like it!" He said.  
  
She just glared at him. "Now if you excuse me.I need to get some ice." Joey said as he limped into one of the shops.  
  
Duke looked at Mai. "His 'little buddy'?" He asked.  
  
"I know. He really should get a different knick name for it." She said.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 13  
  
Sorry. Kind of short. Having minor writers block but that will be fixed in time. Hope you like it. Reviews please! 


	14. Dig Yourself Out of This!

Lila: (Stares at review number) Yay! Over 100! Yay! (Starts dancing around)  
  
Bakura: Should we do something with her?  
  
Seto: I think we should just let her get it out of her system.  
  
Joey: So Lila.I guess that means you're gonna end this fic now right?  
  
Lila: (stops dancing) What? Hell no! Not if people still want to read it.  
  
Joey: Please?  
  
Lila: (whacks Joey on the head)(Joey falls over)  
  
Lila: Anyone else?  
  
(Boys shy away)  
  
Lila: Good. I would however like to hear more from my reviewers. I do fear that this fic will end soon. (Sobs) Hey all good things have to come to an end eventually right? (Feels reviewers glaring at her) Well, I would like to write another humor fic but here is the problem. I don't know what to write about. If I could get some suggestions from you lovely people I would be so grateful.  
  
Joey: NO! NO MORE!  
  
Lila: Boys?  
  
(Seto and Bakura whack Joey on the head)  
  
Lila: Thank you. Would someone do the disclaimer please?  
  
Bakura: Lila doesn't own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: (coughs)  
  
Bakura: (sigh) yet  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Bakura was sitting on the edge of his seat rocking back and forth. "Oh Dear. Oh Dear." He said to him self. "I'm dead. I'm so bloody dead." He kept telling himself. He stared at what he had done. "He's gonna kill me. No. He's gonna send me to the shadow realm several times, then he's gonna kill me." He continued to rock himself as he continued to stare. Duke walked around the corner and found his distressed looking friend.  
  
"What happened to you?" Duke asked.  
  
"Yami is going to kill me." Bakura said.  
  
"Why?" Duke asked.  
  
"Look." Bakura said and he pointed to the mess on the floor.  
  
"Holy shit! How did that happen?" Duke exclaimed.  
  
"It was an accident. A total freak accident. I didn't mean too I swear." Bakura said as he continued to rock back and forth.  
  
"You ruined Yami's bottle of gel!"  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He kept saying.  
  
"That stuff cost's him so much money. You've seen how high his hair stands up." Duke said.  
  
"I'm so dead." He said.  
  
"Not if you get out of here before he finds out." Duke said.  
  
"How do you say we do that. The tunnel is caved in." Bakura said.  
  
"We dig." He said.  
  
Meanwhile in the Hallway.  
  
Yami Bakura was strolling down the hallway all by himself humming a song. "I you wanna be my lover.oh blast that stupid Bakura and his crappy taste in music!" That's when he noticed the display in the women lingerie store. Three manikins stood in suggestive poses wearing the most up to date teddies and silk slips.  
  
"Hello ladies." Yami Bakura said. "You all look lovely this evening." The dolls didn't answer back.  
  
"Oh. You're the quiet and shy types eh?" He asked. "You remind me of my last girlfriend." He said. The dolls simply stared at him with blank looks.  
  
"You girls seeing anyone?" He asked. They didn't answer. "I know this is forward and you don't have to say anything but you can refuse. How's about a date?" He asked. The dolls didn't answer. "Really? You'll go out with me? That's great!" He advanced on the innocent manikins but his way was quickly blocked. "Hey what's the big idea?" He demanded.  
  
"Here." Yami Malik said.  
  
"What? A magazine?" He asked.  
  
"Yes a magazine. I thought that you being fixated over these magazines was a bad thing but hitting on manikins is pathetic! I tried reasoning, I tried therapy but you my dear friend are one twisted tomb robber."  
  
Yami Bakura was no longer paying attention to Yami Malik. "GIRLS!" He shouted.  
  
"Yes Yami Bakura. Girls. You just enjoy that book and leave the nice manikins alone." He then walked off.  
  
Yami Bakura looked up at the girls in the display case. "Sorry Ladies." He winked at the dolls and walked off with his new love.  
  
Meanwhile in the Hall.  
  
"Dig faster before they find out what we're doing!" Duke shouted.  
  
"I'm digging as fast as I bloody well can!" Bakura snapped.  
  
"Were making progress. We'll be through in the next hour or so." Duke said.  
  
"We'd better be. Yami might be coming back soon." Bakura said and began to dig faster just at the thought. Suddenly the ground under them began to shake. "AHHH!" They screamed as it caved in and they fell back into the cavern that had been dug before.  
  
"What the hell happened?" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Chill out! We're thought the tunnel!" He cheered.  
  
"But how?" Bakura scratched his head in confusion. He then felt squirming from beneath him. "AHHH! It's that pissy rat again!" He shouted.  
  
"I'm not a pissy rat you big coward!" The voice shouted.  
  
"Mokuba?" The boys said in unison.  
  
"Ya. It's me. What are you guys doing down in my tunnels?" He asked.  
  
"How did you get in here. We thought you were trapped at school?" Bakura said.  
  
"Well, I get bored and dig extra tunnels down here and I remembered I had one connecting to the school." (How much free time does this poor kid have?)  
  
"Can we get back to the house?" Duke asked.  
  
"Sure. Follow me." Mokuba said.  
  
Down the tunnel you could hear shouting. "MY HAIR GEL!"  
  
"I guess Yami found the mess." Duke said.  
  
"Let's get the hell out of here!" Bakura said and took off down the tunnel.  
  
"Bakura! That's the wrong tunnel!" Mokuba yelled but it was too late. They heard Bakura scream as he tumbled down a hole that had been dug. "Oh BLOODY HELL!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile in the stores.  
  
Yami is balling like a baby. "WAAAAA! WAAAA!"  
  
"Calm down Yami! It's just hair gel!" Tea said.  
  
Yami stopped crying. "Just hair gel? Just hair gel?! That hair gel was the most important thing I ever had!" He shouted.  
  
"We can buy you more Yami." Malik said.  
  
"That stuff has to be special ordered. YOU HEAR ME. SPECIAL!"  
  
"Here Yami. Calm down." Yami Malik said. "Drink this." He handed Yami a mug of unknown liquid. Yami took a big drink. "I cannot believe that this is happening! Oh." He said. "This stuff is GOOOOD!"  
  
He took another big drink. "I have one decent thin in this world and.wow this is good stuff." He said as he took another drink.  
  
He sat back and stopped speaking.  
  
"Wow. What was that stuff?" Mai said in amazement that Yami was being so quiet.  
  
"Captain Morgan." Malik said.  
  
"What that?" Tea asked.  
  
"I don't know. I found a bottle of it on a shelf. I thought it was cool because it had the pirate on it." He said.  
  
Seto began to snicker.  
  
"What so funny?" Tea glared at him.  
  
"Oh nothing. Yami Malik just gave Yami hard liquor.that's all." He said.  
  
"What!" Tea shouted.  
  
"This stuff has booze in it. Uh oh." He said.  
  
Yami began to sway slightly. He leaned onto Joey. "Joey.Buuudy! Yourthe Greaatessssstt." He slurred as he wrapped an arm around Joey's neck. "You know.you may only hav bin secon best in Duely Kingdom."  
  
"Duelist Kingdom." Joey corrected.  
  
"Right. Doody Kingdom but ya know what? You'll always be numba one wit me."  
  
"Aww. How touching." Seto mocked.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey snapped at Seto.  
  
"Ya Seto! Shuuudap! No one talks to my buddy like dat!" Yami slurred.  
  
"What ya gonna do about it tipsy?" Seto asked.  
  
Yami stood up and wabbled a little. "You know whad I'm gonna do? You know wadim gonna do?"  
  
"What?" Seto asked.  
  
"I'm gonna challenge you toa duel! Common!" Yami said.  
  
"Yami with all do respect. I don't think you're in the best shape to duel right now." Seto said.  
  
"Nonsense. I'm in great shape. A lot better shape that you are tubby."  
  
"Are you calling me tubby?"  
  
"Wanna make somthin' of it?"  
  
"Seto lay off. He's drunk." Tea said.  
  
"Ya Seto. Stay out of this." Yami said. "No wait! You stay out of this Yami. Oh wait I'm Yami."  
  
"This is sad Yami." Seto said.  
  
"You're the only sad thins here. Now let's duel! Kuribio Magician! Go!" Yami shouted and crashed to the ground.  
  
Everyone stared at Yami on the ground for a moment. "Hey has anyone seen Bakura?" Mai asked.  
  
"GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Bakura shouted.  
  
"Calm down! We need to find something to pull you up on." Mokuba said.  
  
"Well hurry up! I think the rat might be down here!" Bakura shouted.  
  
Mokuba looked at Duke. "Rat?"  
  
"Long story. We'll tell you later." Duke said. The boys went back to looking at the dark hole. "Can you climb up?" Duke asked.  
  
"Climb? Oh yes I can climb. Because you know I didn't think of that before! It's so easy since my secret identity is spider man!"  
  
"You're spider man?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"No! I'm not bloody spider man! Get me out of here!"  
  
"If you don't calm down we're gonna leave you down there!" Duke yelled. The hole was now silent. "Good. Now lets find something to pull him up with." Duke and Mokuba examined the cavern but found nothing. "Shit! Now what?" Duke said.  
  
"We can't just leave him down there." Mokuba said.  
  
"You're right. We'll have to." He gulped. "Get the others."  
  
"What do we do with Yami?" Tea asked.  
  
"We should put him in a bed or something." Yugi said.  
  
So Seto and Yami Malik attempted to pick up the unconscious pharos.  
  
"I think the pharos had put on a few pounds." Yami Malik grunted.  
  
"How can stick boy be so heavy?" Seto asked.  
  
"I swear it's his hair. It must way a ton!"  
  
"AHH! He's still awake!"  
  
"AHH! He's grabbing at me!"  
  
"I'm the king of Games!" Yami shouted.  
  
The boys dropped his immediately. "He violated me!" Yami Malik yelled.  
  
"Oh get over it!" Seto snapped.  
  
"Let him feel you up and see how you like it!" Yami Malik shot back. The boys were silent and that's when Duke came around the corner. He explained what had happened and they were all more that relieved to get out of the mall. They ran to the cavern and all started arguing over how to get Bakura out of the hole. "We need rope." Joey demanded.  
  
"There is no rope. It would all break." Tristan argued.  
  
"Any better ideas wise guy?" Joey asked.  
  
"Give him something to use as traction." Tea said.  
  
Everyone was arguing and Yami stumbled over to the hole. "Bakura? Are you down there?" He asked.  
  
"Yes Yami." Bakura answered.  
  
"I have a great idea. I know what would get you out of there REALLY FAST." He said.  
  
"What's that?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Fly up!" Yami said. "Be like a bird!"  
  
"That's ridiculous!" Bakura said.  
  
Yami began to sing. "I'm like a bird! I want to fly away!!!" He jumped into the hole. "Wee!"  
  
"AHHH!" Bakura screamed as the intoxicated Yami landed on top of him. "See? I can do it. Now it's your turn." Yami said.  
  
"Yami. Thanks for the input but I'm not Peter Pan!" Bakura said.  
  
"That's too bad. Then this would have been really easy to fix." Yami said.  
  
"Shut up and get off of me!" Bakura snapped.  
  
"Oh dammit! Now there's two of them!" Duke moaned.  
  
"What do we do?" Tea asked.  
  
"There's only one thing to do. We need to make a human chain." Joey said. Everyone was relatively confused but was quickly given orders and soon they began to form a human version of what looked like monkey in a barrel.  
  
"Okay. Now Bakura and Yami. Climb up." Joey ordered.  
  
"Yessir Captain!" Yami said and began to climb. Bakura shortly followed him.  
  
"Yami hurry up! I don't want to look that up close at you!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Bakura! That isn't a handle grip!"  
  
"Sorry Mai!"  
  
They eventually made it to the top and everyone was now safe.  
  
"How about we all go in the house now?" Seto asked.  
  
Everyone ran in like a heard of cattle Joey was in the lead but then quickly stopped in his tracks. "What is it Joe?" Yugi asked.  
  
"It can't be!" Joey shouted. And took off into the dining room.  
  
"What is he on about?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"Maybe he's got the same rash that Tristan was telling me about the other day." Yami started to say.  
  
"Yami! Shut up!" Tristan yelled. They all ran after Joey.  
  
Joey was in the dining room crying. Everyone gasped.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 14  
  
He he! I'm so evil. Leaving you hanging like that. You'll just have to wait and see what Joey is all worked up about and if Yami will ever sober up. (Poor Yami)  
  
Joey: It's about time someone else got beat up on.  
  
Lila: Quiet! Don't make me put you back in the dog suit!  
  
Joey: Sorry.  
  
Lila: I only torture you because you look so cute when you're all distraught.  
  
Joey: Really.  
  
Lila: (Nod)  
  
Joey: (starts dancing) She likes me better! She likes me better.  
  
(Other boys glare)  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! 


	15. Manners? Who needs manners?

Lila: Hmmm. It's late at night, I'm full of sugar and lacking sleep.you know what that means.  
  
Joey: No! No! No!  
  
Lila: Yep. Time for the next chapter!  
  
Joey: No!  
  
Seto: Stop being such a drama queen!  
  
Joey: Shut up.  
  
Lila: I would just like to apologize for leaving you all hanging like that but it's so much fun to make you guys think about what could have possibly happened. By the way Yami Chip, I do not appreciate being choked to death, it makes typing very difficult.  
  
Joey: I do agree with the readers though, you don't do nearly enough Tea bashing.  
  
Tea: Hey!  
  
Lila: You are absolutely right. I just hate her so much I try to keep her out of the story. But why not. TEA BASHING AWAY!  
  
Tea: Oh shit.  
  
(All other characters snicker)  
  
Lila: BY the way.As always.I DON"T OWN YU-GI-OH!  
  
With Snow Come Insanity  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Everyone stood around the entrance to the dinning room in absolute awe of what they were looking at. "Unbelievable!" Bakura said.  
  
"How can it be?" Seto demanded.  
  
"It's not possible!" Yugi said.  
  
"It's beautiful!" Joey cried.  
  
"IT"S TAKE OUT!"  
  
The group was staring at the dining room table which was covered from end to end in their favorite foods. Pizza, Chinese, Submarine Sandwiches, Thai.the list went on and on.  
  
"I've never been so happy to see that much food in my entire life!" Tristan said.  
  
"Oh please when aren't you hungry?" Tea demanded.  
  
Seto turned to Mokuba. "Where did you get all of this and how?" He asked.  
  
"When I got to the house I found Andrew the head chef was still here. I asked him to make all of this from the food in the deep freeze." Mokuba explained.  
  
Just then, the tall sophisticated culinary magician strolled through the kitchen doors. Joey jumped on him. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" He said.  
  
"Excuse moi! If you don' mind I'd appreciate if you got off of me sir." The chef said in his very diplomatic French accent.  
  
Joey crawled off and then turned his attention to the food. "Yay!" He shouted. Him and every other teenager in the room dove at the table like a bunch of hungry wolves.  
  
"Hey! Get your own sandwich!" Joey yelled.  
  
"Joey! I was just eating that one!" Tristan yelled at him.  
  
"Yugi! Don't hog all the egg rolls!" Duke shouted.  
  
"You already have three!" Yugi yelled back.  
  
Suddenly a great shrill filled the air which stopped all the teenager in their tracks. "You people make me sick!" Andrew said.  
  
"Whaf?" Joey said as pieces of bread sputtered out of his mouth.  
  
"You eat as if you have never eaten before!" The chef demanded.  
  
"Well, we have been living off of coffee beans and beef jerky for the last few days. We're all really hungry." Yugi said.  
  
"As for Joey and Tristan.what you're seeing is fairly normal." Malik said.  
  
"Shut up!" The two boys said in unison and pelted Malik with dinner rolls.  
  
"This is no way to behave at a table. Even Mr. Kaiba and his brother are behaving with some etiquette." The chef said.  
  
"Is that some snobby way of saying manners?" Joey asked.  
  
"Yes dog. Manners." Seto said.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey yelled and pelted Seto with another dinner roll.  
  
"Stop this unexcitable behavior now!" The butler shouted.  
  
"Or what?" Duke asked.  
  
"Or I'll take all the food back." Andrew said.  
  
"You wouldn't dare." Yami Bakura hissed.  
  
"Watch me." Andrew said and began to pick up plates.  
  
"No! Okay! We'll behave!" Joey cried and got off of the table he'd been up on all fours gorging on.  
  
"That's better." The cook said. "Everyone find a set. I'm going to give you etiquette lessons." He said.  
  
"I'm going to give you etiquette lessons." Joey mocked the chef under his breath.  
  
"Lesson one." The crack of a small hand whip snapped in front of Joey causing him to jump. "Never make fun of you're teacher."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Lesson two. Sit up properly at the table." He said.  
  
Everyone at the table adjusted themselves.  
  
"Very good Miss Valentine. Exemplary posture." He commented.  
  
"You have to have poise if you want to be a beautiful as me." She cooed.  
  
"And that you are." The man swooned. He scooped up her hand a placed his lips on it for a brief moment.  
  
"Hey! Stop hitting on my woman!" Joey demanded.  
  
"Oh please Joey. You can't compete with Andrew." Tea said in a lovesick daze over the rather gorgeous chef.  
  
Andrew walked over to Yami who was barely in his chair. He cracked the whip in front of him. "Sit up!" He demanded.  
  
The loud noise frightened him and caused him to fall right out of the chair.  
  
"You must forgive Yami." Seto said. "He was tricked into drinking and is heavily intoxicated."  
  
"Oh man. Do I gotta talk like that for this etiquette stuff?" Joey asked.  
  
The whip cracked in front of him. "Yes." Andrew said.  
  
"Stop doing that!" Joey demanded.  
  
"Only when you start doing things right." The chef said.  
  
Joey grumbled and started to slouch. He spotted the cook poising himself to strike the whip again so he sat up.  
  
The lesson continued.  
  
"Never slurp."  
  
"Keep you silverware on the side you found it on."  
  
"Stop chewing with your mouth open!"  
  
"Elbows OFF the table!"  
  
"That's it Yugi."  
  
"Joey! You eat like a cow no wait. The cow eats better than you!"  
  
"Duke! Tie your hair back or something but get it off of you're plate!"  
  
"Say please."  
  
"Say thank you."  
  
"Tea would you pass the pizza?" Tristan asked.  
  
"I'm busy." Tea said.  
  
"You need to say please Tristan." Andrew reminded him.  
  
"Oh right. Tea would you please pass the pizza." Tristan asked.  
  
"No. I'm busy." She said.  
  
"Doing what?" He asked.  
  
"Eating." She said in a bitchy tone.  
  
"Tea. Manners." Andrew said.  
  
She turned to the chef and looked at him with starry eyes. "Yes Andrew." and she passed the pizza.  
  
"Slut!" Joey coughed under his breath.  
  
"What was that Joey Wheeler?" She demanded.  
  
"Nothing.. Slut!" He coughed again.  
  
"You have no right to call me that." She said.  
  
"Actually he does." Yami said in his drunken stupor. "You see. I used to think you were okay. Until you turned all slutty. You want into the chef's pants."  
  
"You son of a bitch!" She hissed.  
  
"Hey! Don't talk to my Yami like that!" Yugi said.  
  
"I'll do what I want. Friends have to be honest with each other." She began.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Everyone shouted. They began to chuck food at her of every kind.  
  
"Stop! Friends don't pelt friends with food." She demanded.  
  
"You're right Tea. STOP!" Yugi said. Everyone froze.  
  
"Come on Yug. She's been nothin' but a cock tease to you since grade 8" Joey said.  
  
"That's a rather crude but accurate way of putting it." Seto grinned.  
  
"Joey's right Yug. She's been walking you around on a leash almost as bad as Mai does to Joey." Tristan said.  
  
Yugi took a deep breath. "I was quite aware of that. I just use to hope that it was a phase." He said.  
  
"It's no phase man. She's a bitch." Duke said.  
  
"Jackass!" Tea hissed.  
  
"Slut!" He shouted back.  
  
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! This is no way to behave at a dinner table." Andrew said.  
  
"You're right." Yugi said. "We're sorry."  
  
"That's better." The cook said.  
  
"You do look thirsty thought Tea. Here!" Yugi said as he chucked his glass of Pepsi at her. It splashed and soaked the front of her shirt.  
  
"Kaiba stop staring!" She snapped.  
  
"Sorry. Reflex." He said.  
  
"How could you Yugi?" She demanded.  
  
"Easy. Like this." Duke said as he dumped another drink on her.  
  
She screamed. Everyone began to pelt her with food and drinks like mad till she ran out of the room screaming something about friendship. Everyone stopped and started laughing. Even the cook snickered a little.  
  
"That was the worst etiquette I've ever seen." The chef demanded. "But by far the funniest."  
  
"I'm sick of this good manner stuff." Joey said as he pulled the napkin out of the front of his shirt. "We're teenagers. Messy, rowdy, obnoxious teenagers and there is only one thing I can think a bunch of teenager like us should do." He grinned at Tristan and gave him a nod.  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!" The boys yelled. The room suddenly looked like a hurricane of food flying everywhere. The distraught chef looked at his boss. "I surrender. I'm going back into the kitchen till these people are gone." And he walked out.  
  
"I'm fearing that may take a while." Seto muttered.  
  
"Hey Kaiba! Catch!" Duke yelled and hit him square in the face with a pizza pocket.  
  
"What the hell? You're gonna pay for that you dice loving freak!" Seto snapped. He grabbed a piece of fried chicken and tossed it hard at Duke. It hit him in the chest.  
  
"Hey! Those bones hurt!" Duke whined.  
  
"Duck!"  
  
Duke ducked just in time to miss a meringue pie, which ended up hitting poor Yami propped up in the corner.  
  
"Hey! Who dun it!" Yami demanded. "I'll show you!" He staggered out of his chair and grabbed the box of chicken balls off of the table. "Take that! And that!" He started to pelt everyone.  
  
Bakura hid under the table. "Oh dear. Oh dear." He said.  
  
"Take that!" Mai shouted. She dumped the large container of sweet and sour sauce over Yami Bakura's head.  
  
"Ew! That feels so gross!" He shouted. He grabbed Mai by the arm and pulled her down next to him. "Take that!" He shouted and he smacked her in the face with a plate of Mac and Cheese. "It's a new facial! Hope you like it!" He said.  
  
"Gross!" She yelled.  
  
"Eat Mozza Sticks!" Yugi yelled and stuck one in Joey's Ear.  
  
"Eat ice cream!" Yami Malik shouted and he smacked Malik in the face with a pre-made sundae.  
  
"Ahh! The nuts are getting into my eyes!" He screamed.  
  
Just then Tea walked in the door ranting about friendship. It was obvious that she'd been out there trying to rehearse the speech. "Redirect aim!" Mokuba shouted.  
  
Everyone turned and started pelting her with food again till she ran out and then returned to attacking each other.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 15  
  
Wee! I love a good food fight! (Pelts Tea with more food)  
  
Tea: Stop it!  
  
(Everyone else starts pelting her again)  
  
Tea: You all need a lesson in friendship!  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!  
  
Yami: Review please.Or I'll send U to da sandal realm.  
  
Joey: Shadow realm.  
  
Yami: That's what I said.  
  
Lila: Someone find this poor boy some coffee! 


	16. Fruit Juice or Potion?

Lila: I apologize for the Tea bashing. I will admit that I do not like her. (Okay she's my least favorite character next to Weevil Underwood but so what?) I must have just taken my bad mood out on her. Please don't flame me for it! (Whimpers) I really like this story and I don't want one character to ruin it. I'll try to lay off the Tea bashing. I could just go back to torturing Joey.  
  
Joey: NO! Why does everybody stick up for Tea? I mean LOOK AT WHAT SHE"S DONE TO ME!  
  
Seto: Drama Queen.  
  
Joey: Shut up.  
  
Seto: I don't think reviewers are going to hate you for one bashing.  
  
Lila: Really?  
  
Seto: Sure. Tea probably will, but everyone else should be okay with it.  
  
Tea: I'm down right pissed.  
  
Lila: Chill out. You'll get your good parts too.  
  
Tea: (Grumbles)  
  
Lila: This is not good. I've got angry reviewers and angry Yu-gi-oh characters. Ahhhh!  
  
Joey: Now whose being the drama queen?  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!  
  
Lila: Calm down! (Takes deep breath) I looked through and I have taken it too far out of character. (Smacks forehead) I really did need one character to get attacked though.  
  
Lila doesn't own Yu-gi-oh  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Everyone sat around the dining room table panting like mad. Their faces were dripping with goo and paste, noodles and sauce. The whole room was a complete disaster.  
  
Tea sat up against the one wall glaring.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I said Tea. You were being kind of bitchy though." Joey said.  
  
"You'd be bitchy too if you hadn't had a full nights sleep in 3 days because you've been sharing a tent with the loudest snorer in the world!" She said.  
  
"I don't snore!" Mai demanded.  
  
"Please! It sounds like the Titanic is crashing right next to you!" Tea said.  
  
Mai tossed a hand full of mashed potatoes at Tea she found on the floor. Tea turned to Joey. "It really hurt me what you said." She told him.  
  
"It was mean. I'll make it up to you. I'll do one thing you want. You name it." He said.  
  
"Okay. We'll leave it as an IOU okay?" She said.  
  
"Deal." Joey said. He gave Tea a hug and in the process she dumped a handful of coleslaw down the back of his pant. "Very funny." He said.  
  
"I thought so." She grinned. She then noticed Seto. "Seto!"  
  
"Reflexes!" He demanded.  
  
"Wow. What a mess." Mokuba said as he looked around the room.  
  
"The maids are going to have a fit." Seto said.  
  
"I'm not complaining." Joey said. He licked a mixture of pizza sauce and macaroni and cheese off of his arm.  
  
"You really are a dog." Seto said.  
  
"Shut up!" Joey snapped.  
  
"I guess we need to take turns showering." Yugi said.  
  
"Hey if we need to save water, I can share a shower with you Mai." Joey said.  
  
"In you're dreams." She said.  
  
"Where else!" He commented.  
  
"You sick freak!" She shouted and slapped him across the face.  
  
"Smooth Joey. Real smooth." Tristan said. Joey shrugged as he rubbed the side of his face.  
  
"I don't think the shower is going to take care of this big of a mess." Seto said.  
  
"Then what should we do?" Mia moaned as she pulled long strands of spaghetti out of her hair.  
  
"I have a rinse station in the science lab down the hall." Seto said. "It's very powerful and should do the trick."  
  
Everyone followed Seto down the hall and into the lab. The sterilized room was kind of creepy. Everyone looked around at the bottle of unknown liquids and things bubbling here and calculating there. It very much resembled a mad scientist's lair.  
  
"Seto I though you were just into technology." Joey said.  
  
"I have other hobbies too you knit whit." He snapped. Seto walked over to the one wall where three-shower curtains were hanging. He pulled them open to reveal the three large metal tubes protruding out of the roof.  
  
"Everyone pair up." Seto ordered. "And three pairs get in. One pair to a tube."  
  
Mai and Tea stood under one. Yugi and his STILL drunk Yami stood under the second and Joey and Tristan stood under the third. Rock paper scissors of course decided all of this and it was now 4 in the morning. Some of them took a nap while they waited for all the decisions and the food has now hardened one some of them. For example, Yami Bakura has developed a plastic- like coating from the sweat and sour sauce.  
  
"You okay Yami Bakura?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"I cn brly mv my mouf." He said.  
  
"Let's get rinsing." Seto said. "I'll just warn you that there are several gallons of water being held up in those tubes and it will come out fairly quickly."  
  
"We can take it." Joey said. "Now hurry up!"  
  
Seto grinned. "As you wish." He pulled the chord and the tubes opened. The water came pounding out of the tubes at an incredible rate. They had to hold on for dear life to prevent being washed away. The water was nearly beating them senseless.  
  
"TURN.IT.OFF!" Tristan screamed.  
  
"I can't!" Seto shouted back. "It only stops when the tank runs out."  
  
"YOU.SON.OF.A" The water roared and over powered his voice.  
  
"I'm SINING in the rain! I'm singing in the RAIN!" Yami sang and danced around. Yugi was clinging to him for dear life for he could not stand up on his own against the force. Bakura stared at Duke. "Do we really have to go through that?" He asked.  
  
Seto nodded and Bakura swallowed his heart back down into his throat. The water soon ended.  
  
"Seto!" Tea yelled.  
  
"It's a reflex! Sorry!" He said. The six crawled out of the water like drowned rats groaning in pain.  
  
"Stop you're whining. It's our turns now." Seto said. He and Mokuba stood under one, Yami Bakura and Yami Malik stood under two and Duke and Bakura stood under three. "Okay Tea.Now!" Seto said.  
  
"Tea pulled to chord and a second gallon began to blasts down on the six of them. "Bloody Hell!" Bakura yelled through the flood.  
  
The others stood and waited for them to finish. "Hey! What's all this stuff?" Joey asked.  
  
"Don't touch that Joey. It could be dangerous." Yugi warned Joey. Yugi was rather busy trying to hold his other half up right.  
  
"Nonsense. I know what I'm doing. I was one of the best students in chemistry class." Joey bragged.  
  
"Right." Tristan snorted.  
  
"Actually he is. For some reason he knows his chemistry. He used to help me study." Tea said.  
  
"Really?" Tristan said. "Hey! How come you never helped me."  
  
"You never asked." Joey said. "Now what do we have here, it looks like some sort of high tech biologically engineered carbon based block." Joey said.  
  
"That's a sponge Joey."  
  
"Of course it is. I was just playin' wit cha." He said. They all rolled their eyes.  
  
"What's this? Miracle potions?" Joey asked.  
  
"Stop being such a moron Joey. There's no such thing." Tristan said.  
  
"Then what's this stuff?" Joey asked. He stepped back and showed the cupboard to the others. It was lined with different potions.  
  
"It's just a joke Joey." Tristan said. "Probably fruit juice he lets Mokuba mix for fun."  
  
"I think it's real." Yami said. "Potions and miracle drinks have always been around. People used to believe that different mixtures would cause them to be stronger, younger and so on. It's very possible he's trying to recreate them."  
  
"Should we ask Seto?" Tea asked.  
  
"He's looking a little busy right now." Mai said as she looked back at the small waterfall coming out of the roof."  
  
"Drink it Joey!" Yami said.  
  
"Ya. Drink one of them!" Mai cheered.  
  
"NO WAY!" He said. "What is something bad happens to me?"  
  
"Drink it!" Tea ordered. "That's what you can do for your IOU. Drink it!"  
  
"Fine." He grumbled. "But Yugi has to drink one too."  
  
"Okay." Yugi said.  
  
"Really?" Joey asked.  
  
"I think it's fruit juice. We'll be fine." Yugi said.  
  
"Okay. Which one do you want?" He asked.  
  
Yugi stood on his tiptoes and looked into the cabinet. They were all labeled with symbols. One had a star, one had an arrow pointing up, one had an eye, another had a spider, a flower.it went on and on. "I'll take the one with the arrow pointing up. It looks like grape juice." He said.  
  
"Okay Yug." Joey said and handed him the small vile. "I'll take this one with the feather on it." He held up the vile with a light blue substance in it. "It could be Kool-Aid." He said.  
  
"On the count of three." Mai said.  
  
"One"  
  
"Two"  
  
"Three"  
  
The boys gulped down the liquids, "Ew! That isn't Grape Juice. Yugi scrunched his nose. "It tastes like vinegar."  
  
"I'm not even gonna tell ya what mine tasted like." Joey said.  
  
"How do you feel?" Tea asked.  
  
"Okay.I guess. Nothing happened." Yugi said.  
  
"What a gyp." Tristan said.  
  
Suddenly, Yugi and Joey were on the floor rolling in pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tea asked.  
  
"Hmmm. That doesn't look good." Yami said.  
  
The boys continued to wriggle on the floor and then a light began to shine around them. It became so brilliant that it blinded all of them. When the light dimmed the others gasped. "Oh boy." Mai Said.  
  
"Looks like I got even with Joey but Seto is gonna be pissed." Tea said.  
  
"Really really pissed." Tristan added.  
  
The water stopped and Seto crawled out. "What was that weird light?" He asked.  
  
"We all saw it." Bakura said.  
  
"Oh, done already?" tea asked. She stepped in the way and blocked his view of Joey and Yugi. "You look much better but you still have a lot of stuff on you. You should go back in."  
  
"Really? I feel fine." Seto said.  
  
"Really. Another shot and you'll be ALL better." She said in a sing song voice.  
  
"You look fine Seto. She's just being weird." Mokuba giggled. They all walked over but Tristan also stepped in their way.  
  
"What are you hiding?" Seto demanded.  
  
"Nothing!" They all said at once.  
  
Seto was getting angry. "Seto? Have I ever told you how sexy you look?" Mai asked. She pushed against him trying to distract him.  
  
"Now I KNOW something is going on." Seto said.  
  
"Nonsense. I just think you are such a better looking man than Joey." She cooed.  
  
That when the noise on the other side of the desk came and drew Seto's attention back. "What the hell was that?" He pushed past Mai and walked past the desk. "Holy Shit!" He shouted.  
  
"Cool!" Mokuba said.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 16  
  
Another cliffie. That's two in a row! Please don't choke me! Hope you like this chapter and I know you're gonna love what happens to Yugi and Joey! REVIEWS PLEASE! 


	17. Don't Mislabel Magic Potions!

Lila: (sigh) the weekend.is there anything more beautiful?  
  
Seto: Getting on with the story?  
  
Lila: (eyes grow wide) OH yeah! I've fallen so far behind. All of my stories are falling behind. Ahhh! Hurry! Someone do the disclaimer!  
  
Seto: Lila does not own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
Chapter 17  
  
Seto stared at the scene that was developing on the floor.  
  
"Wow! Those potions really do work Seto!" Mokuba said. He jumped up and down clapping his hands with joy.  
  
"Who let them drink it?" Seto growled.  
  
The teenagers pointed every which way at each other trying to push the blame on someone else. Seto growled at their cowardly response. He walked over to the counter and picked up the vials. He raised one eyebrow and looked back at Yugi and Joey. "This can't be right."  
  
"What do you mean Seto?" Tea asked. "What's wrong?"  
  
"According to the vials: Yugi should be floating and Joey should be a parrot but." He looked back at the vials. "Some one has switched the labels. Seto ran his thumb along the labels and suddenly felt them come loose. "What the hell?" He said as the labels peeled off to reveal a second one underneath. "Mokuba!" He yelled.  
  
"Uh. Oh." Mokuba realized he'd been caught and ran out the door.  
  
"You were playing with my labeling gun again. I warned you!" He shouted. He did not chase Mokuba. He'd go find him later. "According to the actual labels the results are right."  
  
"Joey's a dog."  
  
"Yugi's a monkey."  
  
The dog Joey growled at Seto. "Shut up dog." He ordered.  
  
The dog barked back at him. Obviously trying to tell him to stop calling him that.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Mai cried.  
  
"It might take a while.but I'll work on an antidote. I'll need test subjects though." Seto said He looked at Yami Bakura and Yami Malik and smiled.  
  
"NO WAY!" They both said.  
  
"Oh come on. You're ancient spirits. If anything bad happened you could just use your mumbo jumbo powers to turn yourselves back." Tristan said.  
  
"They aren't mumbo jumbo powers." Yami Bakura snapped.  
  
"Besides.what's in it for us?" Yami Malik demanded.  
  
"If you do it Yami Bakura I'll buy you as many girl magazines as you can hold." Seto said.  
  
Yami Bakura's eyes grew wide. "Don't be ridiculous." Yami Malik said. "Yami Bakura is stronger than that. He won't be won over by some lousy---"  
  
"Count me in!" Yami Bakura piped up and ran over to the table.  
  
"Yami Malik?" Seto asked.  
  
"I said no!" He snapped.  
  
"What's it gonna take to make you say yes?" Mai asked.  
  
"I won't. There's nothing you could say that would make me say yes." He said.  
  
"I'm sure there's something I could tell though.Malik said. He was grinning evilly at his Yami. His Yami knew what he was talking about.  
  
"You wouldn't dare." Yami Malik said coldly.  
  
"Wouldn't I?" Malik asked.  
  
His Yami seemed torn. What was it he was trying to hide. He then held his head high. "You don't have it in you." Yami Malik said.  
  
"That's what you think. Okay.this one time at band camp-"  
  
"Shut up! Okay! Okay! I'll do it!" Yami Malik said and went to stand next to Yami Bakura.  
  
"Great. We'll get started right away. For now.you guys need to take care of Yugi and Joey." Seto ordered.  
  
"I'll take car of um." Yami said. "Here Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi!" Yami said. He stumbled over and tried to pick Yugi up by his tail. Yugi was so shocked by this action that he turned and bit Yami on the arm.  
  
"Ah! The little fur ball bit me!" Yami screamed.  
  
"You have to remember that they aren't themselves. They act like the animals they are so you have to expect he'll bite you." Seto said.  
  
"This is becoming too much." Mai said. "We have three people to take care of. Let's get Yami to bed at least so we have less to deal with."  
  
"Good idea." Tristan said. "I'll take Yami upstairs. You guys take care of the animals."  
  
They all agreed and went in their own directions. Tristan pulled Yami up the stairs while Yami tried to stumble along. They eventually reached the room where Yami crashed onto the floor. "Yami in the bed.Yami?"  
  
He nudged the unconscious pharos to see if there was still any life. "Oh my god! He's dead!" Tristan cried.  
  
He filled Yami over and checked for any signs of breathing. "Nothing! Oh Shit!" He opened Yami's mouth to begin reviving him but nearly gagged at the smell of liquor that came from his mouth. " Why me?"  
  
He knelt down and was within inches of lip on lip contact when the dead body leaped up and gave him a kiss.  
  
Tristan pulled back in shock.  
  
"You're a great kisser Tea." Yami said.  
  
"1) I'm not Tea and 2) Ewww!" Tristan said. He wiped away the kiss in disgust. "I'm hoping that was the alcohol that made you do that. I'm also hoping the alcohol erases this moment from your memory."  
  
Yami responded with a goofy smile. "Get in the freakin' bed!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"Get off the freakin' counter!" Tea screamed at monkey Yugi. "You're gonna break something!"  
  
Monkey Yugi responded by turning around and slapping him butt.  
  
"You little prick!" She shouted. Bakura ran in behind Tea. "Thank goodness you're here. We have to catch him."  
  
"Okay. You go in on the left and I'll go in on the right." Bakura said. They both advanced on the poor little monkey. Yugi monkey saw this and picked up a bag of peanuts that had been sitting on the counter. He then proceeded to chuck them at Tea and Bakura.  
  
"Cut that out!" Bakura yelled at the monkey but it did no good.  
  
They were getting closer and the monkey saw that his attempts to fend them off had failed. He then decided to attack one of them head on. He picked poor Bakura.  
  
"Ahh! Get it off of me!" He screamed as he ran around the room with the monkey on his back.  
  
Tea ran and picked up the broom in the corner. "Hold still!" She ordered but no such thing happed. Tea decided to take a blind swing and felt the broom make contact. She opened her eyes and realized she'd hit poor Bakura and missed Yugi. "Oh Bakura. I'm so sorry." She said. She ran over and rolled him onto his side. "Are you okay?"  
  
"What's that mommy? No. I don't like the rabbits." He responded.  
  
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Tea shouted. She slapped him across the face continuously. "I'M-Tired-of-people-acting-like-six-year-olds!" She said each individual word while slapping him at each one.  
  
"Tea! Stop-It!" He shouted once reality sunk back into poor Bakura who was being beaten senseless. She didn't seem to notice so he slapped her.  
  
"What the hell was that for?" Tea demanded.  
  
"For telling Yugi I use curlers in my hair." Bakura said.  
  
"He told you that?" She asked.  
  
Bakura only glared at Tea. He then patted himself down to make sure he was in one piece. "Wait! Where's my wallet?" He asked.  
  
He looked over and saw Monkey Yugi dancing in the doorway while waving his wallet around.  
  
"Hey! Give that back!" Bakura demanded.  
  
Tea laughed.  
  
"I wouldn't laugh Tea. He's got something of yours too." Bakura pointed out the paper in his other hand.  
  
"Oh no! My love letter I was writing!" She cried.  
  
They two of them charged at the monkey at full force who just took off up the stair and climbed the banister. He then jumped up onto the chandelier.  
  
"Great! Now how do we get him down?" Bakura moaned.  
  
"Joey! Stop that!" Duke ordered the dog that was sitting on top of him and licking his face. Joey was a golden retriever and had managed to pin poor duke the floor when Duke had won at a game of tug of war with a towel. "You're a poor sport even as a dog."  
  
"Joey! Down!" Mai ordered the dog that obeyed and came to sit next to her.  
  
"You really do have him whipped." Duke grinned. "Can you make him so tricks?"  
  
"Sure." Mai said. She turned to the dog. "Sit." she ordered and the dog sat.  
  
"Please. Any dog can do that." Duke said.  
  
"Okay. Joey? Roll over." She said. The dog tried to give her his paw. "No Joey! Roll over!" The dog barked at her.  
  
"Maybe something else." She said. "Joey? Speak!" She ordered and the dog rolled over.  
  
"Wow is he stupid." Duke said.  
  
"I'm sure it was just a mistake. Joey? Go get a newspaper." She ordered. The dog left the room.  
  
"See? He'll be back in a minute with a newspaper." She said proud of her training.  
  
The dog did come back with something but it wasn't a newspaper.  
  
"Joey! Give me those!" Mai ordered. "Those are my underwear!"  
  
Duke laughed. "Yep. That's Joey all right."  
  
Mai grabbed one side of the panties and tried to pull them from the dog's mouth. "Let go!" She ordered. The dog figured it was a game and began to tug back. "Let go!" She screamed.  
  
Duke couldn't stop laughing. "Help me you idiot!" Mia yelled at Duke.  
  
"Aww. Come on! Just let him keep a pair." Duke said.  
  
"No! These are my favorite pair!" She said and tugged a little harder.  
  
"Let go!"  
  
"GRRR"  
  
"Let go!"  
  
"GRRRR.'  
  
Suddenly a loud rip was heard and Mai fell backward with half of her panties. "You wreaked them!" She yelled at the dog.  
  
"Give me the rest!" She said. The dog looked at her and then swallowed the remainder of the underwear. "That is SO gross!" She squealed.  
  
Duke just continued to laugh.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 17  
  
Well? REVIEWS PLEASE! 


	18. THE FINALE!

Lila: And now.the end is near.and so we face.the final curtain.  
  
Joey: You're being over dramatic again.  
  
Lila: Oh so what? It's the end to one of my most liked stories so far!  
  
Joey: So?  
  
Lila: You're not going to miss it?  
  
Joey: No!  
  
Lila: Not even a little?  
  
Joey: Hell no!  
  
Lila: But---  
  
Joey: No!  
  
Lila: Will you at least to the disclaimer?  
  
Joey: No!  
  
Yami Bakura: Do it now or I'll send you to the shadow realm.  
  
Joey: Okay. Lila does not own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lila: Thanks Yami Bakura!  
  
With Snow Comes Insanity  
  
THE FINAL CHAPTER  
  
Yami Bakura stared at the vile that Seto had handed him with disapproving eyes. "I don't want to do this." He said.  
  
"You can't back down now." Seto said as he busied himself with the next batch.  
  
"This is ridiculous. What if it kills us?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"The you'll have dies for a good cause." Seto said.  
  
"I don't see how saving a monkey and a half retarded dog is a good cause." Yami Malik said.  
  
"You know. If the members of PETA were here they'd have your head for saying that." Seto said.  
  
"What's PETA?" He asked.  
  
"Some activist group that is worried about animals or something." Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Oh. I still don't want to drink It.," he said.  
  
"Drink it!" Seto snapped.  
  
With that the Yami's downed the drinks in one gulp. "Ewww. It taste like feet!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"How do you know what feet taste like?" Seto asked.  
  
"Just never mind." Yami Bakura snapped.  
  
"I feel weird." Yami Malik said. He stumbled around a little bit. "Me too." Yami Bakura said. They hit the floor and when Seto look over the counter he gasped. "Opps." Seto said.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" Yami Malik asked.  
  
"Nothing." Seto said.  
  
"Why aren't you looking me in the eyes Seto?" Yami Malik said. "Why are you staring at my-"  
  
"For the love of Ra it's a reflex!" Seto shouted.  
  
"Oh no!" Yami Malik cried. "I'm a girl!"  
  
"Me too!" Yami Bakura said.  
  
"Hey." Yami Bakura said. "This isn't so bad." He began to investigate himself.  
  
"Stop that!" Seto snapped. "Here. Drink this. It will fix everything."  
  
Yami Malik downs the drink and returned to his normal form. Seto handed out the second vile to Yami Bakura. "No." He said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't want it."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm happy this way."  
  
"You can't be serious." Yami Malik said.  
  
"Sure. It'll save me money on magazines see." He then pulled on his shirt and looked down. "Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!"  
  
"Stop it!" The other two boys yelled. Yami Bakura stopped. "I have to go find some new clothes." He said.  
  
"That was just creepy." Seto said.  
  
"Really creepy." Yami Malik said. "Shouldn't we turn him back?"  
  
"If he's happy." Seto said. "Try this drink." He handed the next vile to Yami Malik.  
  
"Fine." He downed the drink. "Nothing happened." He said.  
  
"That's the one. Now for the hard part." Seto said.  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"We have to get Yugi and Joey to drink it." Seto told him.  
  
"Come back here!" Tea screamed as she chased after Yugi. Yugi had found Joey and was now clinging to his back like a rodeo rider at the fair.  
  
"Yee haw! Ridem' little Yugi!" Duke cheered.  
  
"You're not helping!" Tea turned and glared at Duke.  
  
"Oh come on Tea. It's funny." He said.  
  
"It's not everyday you see a monkey riding on the back of a dog." Mokuba said.  
  
"He still has my wallet!" Bakura cried.  
  
"Get him!" Mai yelled and jumped at the dog but missed.  
  
"Sit Joey! Sit!" Tristan ordered but the dog wouldn't listen.  
  
Seto walked in the door with the two vials. "Get them! We need to make them drink this!"  
  
They all attempted to catch the dog again and missed.  
  
"I know!" Tristan said. He ran into the other room and came back flailing something. "Here Joey! I got some of that pizza chicken stuff left over for you!" He said.  
  
Joey stopped sharp and bounded towards Tristan. "AHHH!" Tristan screamed. Joey pinned Tristan the ground and began to eat the chicken. Seto ran over and drenched it with the contents of the vile. Joey began to morph back into himself.  
  
"Joey! You're back! Now get off of me!" Tristan ordered.  
  
"In a minute. This is really good chicken." He said and finished eating the chicken out of his hand. "You can take the boy out of the dog but you can't take the dog-"  
  
"Shut up Kaiba!" Joey snapped.  
  
"Hurry! Yugi is getting away!" Tea screamed.  
  
"And he's trying to eat my driver's license!" Bakura shouted.  
  
They darted after little Yugi as fast as they could and eventually cornered him.  
  
"There's no escape now!" Seto said. He grabbed the little monkey and forced him to drink the contents. Yugi soon morphed into himself again. He sat and stared at the others. "What's up guys?" He asked.  
  
They all sat in the hallway panting from the chase when Yami came down the stairs. "What the yell is with all the noise?" He demanded. He held his head with was harboring an intense headache. "Sounds like a zoo down here!"  
  
The others didn't respond. They just sat and tried to catch their breath. That's when they walked around the corner.  
  
"Hey guys." The one said.  
  
"Serenity?" Joey asked. "How did you get in here?"  
  
"I walked through the door." She said.  
  
"You mean?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"The snow melted? When?" Seto asked.  
  
"A few days ago. People were worried where all of you were so I came to check on you." She said.  
  
They ran to the door and stood in awe. It was as if it were a warm spring day again. They'd been so focused on being at each other's throats that they hadn't even bothered to look out the window.  
  
"NOOOOO!" Seto cried. He dropped to his knees and began sobbing. Mokuba ran up to his side. "It's okay Seto. It's all over now." He reassured him.  
  
"This is unbelievable." Bakura said.  
  
"It's not very logical either." Yugi said.  
  
"Cut!"  
  
Yami: What kind of ending is this?  
  
Lila: My ending.  
  
Yami: It doesn't make any sense!  
  
Lila: Yes it does.  
  
Yami: No it doesn't.  
  
Lila: Well maybe if you hadn't been so busy yelling at people and getting drunk you would have noticed the sun shine out the window.  
  
Yami:....  
  
Lila: Exactly. Now get back to the story.  
  
"Action!"  
  
"Well.no that we're free. How about a date Serenity?" Duke asked.  
  
"Really? You want to go out with me?" Serenity blushed.  
  
"Hey! I asked her first!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"Chill Tristan. Why don't we double? You can go with Serenity's friend here. Uh. What's your name?" Duke asked.  
  
The girl batted her eyes and blushed. "Call me Annie." She said.  
  
Tristan drooled a little. She was really cute. "Okay. Let's go."  
  
"Hey! Who said you were allowed to go out with my sister?" Joey demanded.  
  
"Joey! Play dead!" Tristan ordered. Joey immediately fell down onto his back and stuck out his tongue. "What the hell?" He said.  
  
"Stay!" Duke ordered and Joey didn't move. "He's getting better at those commands."  
  
"Let's go already!" Tristan said and looped his arm around Annie's waist.  
  
The four walked off leaving the others with the broke down Kaiba.  
  
"Uhhh Guys?" Bakura asked.  
  
"What's wrong Bakura?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Annie looks an awful lot like my Yami." Bakura said.  
  
Yami Malik cut in before anyone could think. "Hey! Who want's pizza? I'll buy."  
  
And they never gave it a second thought.  
  
THE END  
  
(Streamers flying everywhere) The end! It's done! Wow! I'm feeling so good about this. I just want to say thank you to all of the great, funny, creative and some just down right weird reviews. A special thanks to my most loyal reader who have put up with EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER.  
  
I have a small favor to ask of all of my reviewers.. I'd like you to review this chapter and the whole story. I am however going to post one more chapter. It's sort of a survey. (I know how people hate surveys) I need this information to decide what to do for my next big humor fic. If you could do a review for that chapter (FOR THAT CHAPTER I ONLY WANT RESULTS FOR THE SURVEY) I would be SO grateful. Please try to be honest as possible. Thankies!  
  
-lilagyptian 


	19. HELP OUT THE AUTHOR!

SNOW SURVEY  
  
How old are you approximately?  
  
Who was your favorite character in this story?  
  
What was the funniest chapter?  
  
What was so funny about it?  
  
What didn't you like (Be gentle! ;-))  
  
Where would be the next place you would like to see them go?  
  
What's better Winter or Summer?  
  
What's better Indoors or Outdoor?  
  
What's funnier Dry Verbal Humor, Slapstick, Off The Wall Weirdness or Absolute Chaos?  
  
THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS! I"LL HAVE THE NEXT STORY STARTED SOON! 


End file.
